Drunk Man Calls 911 Because Bae Wouldn't 'Give Him Any Booty

#1 35 minutes into get drunk on the lawn and chill...

After spending a long day of drinking on his front yard, 53-year-old South Carolina man Patrick Doggett decided he required some ass from his girlfriend, Ms. Faye Woodruff. Unfortunately, Ms. Faye was not in the mood for his ruff wood.

#2 Ready for lovin', Doggett crawled into bed with Faye, but she was not down to chill because she had her grandchild with her. Typical woman with her typical not-wanting-to-scar-the-children excuses.

#3 Refusing to have his rights violated, Doggett called 9-11 and immediately reported the crime. According to the police report, the emergency that required police assistance was that his gf "wouldn't give him any ass."

When police arrived (because when your state is completely under water, it's nice to have a solvable problem) they found Doggett drinking on his lawn and yelling toward the wide open front door, "fuck that bitch."

#4 Sorry sir. According to your complaint, you can't fuck that bitch.

Ms. Woodruff told the officers that Doggettt had been "drinking all day and didn't know where he was at."

Loverboy was arrested public drunkenness and was held in a cell overnight to sober up. It is not stated whether he found some bitch to fuck while locked up.