Epic Burns Women Have Used On Creepy Guys That Are Just Savage!
By
Michael Avery in
Funny
On 25th September 2017
The internet has done a lot of great things for humanity since its invention. It allows us to communicate with the furthest flung parts of the world at instant speed. It provides hours of entertaining in the form of Netflix and little cat videos on YouTube. And it’s an easy avenue for us to search in order to find Mr. Right.
Or Mr. Right Now. We hear he’s always available.
And that’s kind of the problem. Too many guys out there think that every gal is searching for a quick lay rather than someone to talk to, to listen to their hopes and fears, and actually make a human connection other than the one that uses their genitals.
When beset by these creepy weirdos, most will either ignore the offender, block them, or politely let them down easy. But some people just have a fire burning in their hearts that cannot be quenched. Beware these women, for they are out for blood, and are not to be trifled with.
Here are some of the most eviscerating comebacks the internet has to offer.
Appendicitis? Nope, Just A Sick Burn
To be fair to this Jonah Hill-esque man, his pickup line isn’t the worst we’ve ever heard, but getting shot down like that is just brutal. This girl should join the army with aim like that.
Astronomically Accurate Comeback
This conversation started so well, and then the douchey-dude had to go ahead and ruin it. Also, we suspect this gal is an astronomer since we do not have the distance between the Earth and the moon off the top of our heads like that. Or she took the time to look it up. Either way, we’re impressed by her comeback.
Blender Burn
There is a certain beauty in the simplicity of this response.
Doritos Can Never Hurt You
This guy wasn’t too sleazy, as far as the internet goes, but it’s the casual dismissal of him in favor of junk food that really deserves accolades. We think we may steal this for the next time we need to shoot someone down.
And Yet, Here We Are, On Fire
Mm, no, we think that’s a totally appropriate response to an unsolicited video of someone masturbating.
How To Turn Down A Threesome
This is exactly how every threesome we’ve ever coordinated starts. We never participate in them, but we’ve personally created dozens over the course of our short lives.
What To Say When Your Dog Dies
Yes, her retort is on point, but what we find truly remarkable is the mouthless emoji. Not only does it respond to this dude’s tasteless come-on perfectly, we didn’t even know it existed until this very moment.
Racism Is Never Attractive
Yikes.
Roasting His Nuts On A Campfire
Little did he know she wasn’t kidding, and the internet is better for it.
It’s Best To Let Sleeping Women Lie
This roleplay is so vivid we can picture it in our minds, and we may never sleep again.
Heard At A Banker Convention
Just… ow.
