The human world… It’s a mess.
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#1 When you get to go in a really fancy toilet and it’s like a treat for your buttcheeks.
#2 When you’ve let out such a big one that you’ve got no energy left to live.
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#3 When it feels like it’s coming out sideways.
#4 When you do a shit so bad you make passers-by feel physically sick.
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#5 When you go in expecting a massive, satisfying dump and leave with nothing but disappointment and a shitty arse.
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#6 When you’re in public cubicles and everyone is waiting for everyone else to leave before starting
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#7 When you go in the middle of the night and don’t want to wake anyone by turning on the lights
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#8 When you’re about to drop a huge one.
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#9 When it’s almost there.
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#10 Here it comes…
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#11 Splashdown!
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#12 When you can’t help but step back and admire your handiwork.
#13 When you’re squeezing hard but nothing’s coming out.
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#14 When you had a curry earlier.
#15 When it’s so much bigger than you ever expected
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#16 When someone knocks on the toilet door.
#17 When you’re out in public and you realise a fart may have actually been something a little more solid.
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#18 And when you confirm it.
#19 When it’s got such a stench even you can’t really handle it.
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#20 When someone asks why it smells so bad in there.
#21 When you’ve finished the first wave but you know there’s more to come so there’s nothing you can do but wait.
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#22 When you get hit by the dreaded splashback.
#23 When you’re squeezing out a whopper and try to look round and catch a glimpse of how big it is even though you know that’s gross.
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#24 When you go at work and you’re being paid to poo.
#25 When you’ve got no choice but to go in a really gross toilet.
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#26 When you’re pushing out a little dainty one.
#27 When it’s a non-wiper.
