1. A woman was in bed having sex with her husband's friend, when all of a sudden the telephone rings,
she answers.
After hanging up she says, ''That was Harry, but don't worry, he won't be home for a while. He's playing cards with you.''
2. A husband and wife are laying in their bed...
Wife: If I die will you have another woman in this bed?
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: Will you marry her?
Husband: Maybe.
Wife: Will you let her use my golf clubs?
Husband: Of course not.
Wife: Why not?
Husband: She's left-handed.
3. Husband: Say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time.
Wife: You have a much bigger dick than your brother!