Really? Companies Actually Came Up With These Terrible Product Names?

By Editorial Staff in Funny On 25th August 2015
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#1 AYDS DIET PILLS

In the late 1970's, Ayds was a hit. Everyone was buying this appetite-suppressant candy that helped you lose weight. Want to lose some pounds? Get Ayds!

And then one morning in the 80's, the CEO spewed out his morning coffee when he read that a new chronic viral disease was decimating the West Coast. Almost immediately, sales dropped by 50 percent. The company panicked, changing the name to Diet Ayds, but the effort was futile. Ayds failed, and it was swiftly taken off the market.

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#2 URINAL HOT DRINK

While in some places this is commonly used as a receptacle in male restrooms, for some people urinal is a hot drink.

Romania's hot cranberry cordial drink is said to offer natural protection (due to natural antioxidants in cranberries) and 'contribute to fluid in the body.

We cannot however confirm if it is a diuretic.

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#3 VAGI-SEAL

"Look Like New Again" was their slogan.

This feminine hygiene product promised to make women feel like they had never been touched... it failed at the registers because it didn't work.

Instead of staying chaste before your wedding day, just take a Vagi-Seal after every tryst. Youll be fresh and pure like a new snowfall on a pristine mountaintop. How does this fancy technology work, you ask Why, its easy. Simply pop a Vagi-Seal in your mouth. They come in cherry, lemon, lime, orange and grape and look suspiciously like hard candies. 10 candies per box.

#4 NADS

A "natural" hair removal gel.. though made and sold for women, the name implies otherwise.

A little rebranding and this could sell to today's men!

#5 CEMEN DIP

In Turkey, 17 percent of people speak English. Which begs the question: Why don't they notify Cemen Dip they severely lack chances of expanding overseas?

Cemen: It's what's for dinner.

#6 CREAMY WHITE GRAVY

Similar to Country Style Gravy, Master Foods just wasn't thinking with this one.

With a lower protein and sodium content than the other creaming white finishing sauce, Creamy White Finishing Sauce goes well on beef cutlets and potatoes.

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#8 WACK OFF

Ummm.. No, thanks.

Wack Off! is a topical insect repellent primarily used in the Australian armed forces. It has (probably) been subject to numerous lawsuits alleging genital burning and injuries, but Wack Off! hasn't publicized those.

#9 SARS

This cola company got hit hard...

When Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome made international headlines in 2003, one Australian company owning the soda brand name Sars didn't cower to the pressure. Unlike those cowards at Ayds, Golden Circle (the parent company) wore Sars like a badge of honor. Sales soared unpredictably.

#10 SWALLOW BALLS

These Chinese "balls" are actually made with hand slaughtered quail.

As if Swallow Balls is not a bad enough name for a type of food, the packaging is see-through and you not only have to swallow them, you have to look at them as well. They seem to be tofu balls suspended in water.

I didn't even know swallows had balls.

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#11 BITCH SPRAY

It's for dogs! Johnson's Bitch Spray is used for taking away the smell of a female dog in "heat."

I am sure many men have tried to use it on their wives, but that's only because they couldn't control them otherwise! LOL.

#12 HOMEMADE BLACK RASPBERRY JAM

If the logo is correct, this is the perfect food for anyone who has ever wanted to taste Grandma.

I bet it tastes old and smells like butterscotch candy & moth balls.

#13 HAND JOB

Watson Glove 5827 Hand Job Work Glove.

It's "Better Than Nothin'" and they boast on their webpage that One Size Fits All. I wonder how that works....

#14 PLOPP

You get two PLOPP candies in the package.

Plopp is a candy bar manufactured by the Swedish company Cloetta (formerly part of Cloetta Fazer). Like Center, another Cloetta candy, it consists of milk chocolate with a soft caramel center.

Over 95 percent of Plopp is sold in Sweden.

Some English-speaking sources have criticized the name "Plopp" as being unappealing due to its "association with jobbies".

#15 DUNN'S RIVER COCK-SEASONING

As an Amazon review put it:

"I've been a big fan of cock for a long time now, but this was disappointing. It probably needs more cumin."

Don't worry, it's just flavored that way!

#16 PEE COLA

Bottled in Ghana... Need we say more?

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#17 MR BRAINS PORK FAGGOTS

You get FOUR, in a rich creamy sauce!

These sausage "meatballs" are a favorite in Britain and are very popular meatballs in Wales. They are made from pork or beef liver, and pork butt, spices and onions.

No jokes required.

#18 SO GAY WATER

I can confirm that this is an authentic bottled water brand from Peru. It is actually one word, "SOGAY" but still scores big on the branding translation misfire list.

#19 POOLIFE

Exclusive Pool Care Collection

Did they finally invent something to remove the Snickers bars from the pool?

#20 BOWEL BUDDY

Bran Wafers designed to get you moving.... with lots of BRAN!

Not my idea of a buddy, but hey, people are strange.

#21 ROASTED MONKEY NUTS

Relax! They are just peanuts.

Packaged in China, so of course, who knows what other ingredients are in there. It does say on the bag "May Contain Other Nut Traces."

#22 666 COLD PREPARATION

It's Maximum Strength. Who would expect anything less from something from HELL?!