Senior Citizens Who'd Rather Party Than Go To Another Bingo Night

#1 Jerry and Esther still think they are living in the 50s.

The 1850's.

#2 You know you're old when your head makes dates your body cant keep.

#3 Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night?

It keeps them from rolling out of bed!

#4 A nice thing about aging and losing your memory is you meet new friends every day.

#5 How do you know your old?

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

#6 A nice thing about aging is when you lose your glasses they're usually close by, like on your forehead.

#7 Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?

The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

#8 How do you know you're old enough to retire?

Instead of lying about your age you start bragging about it!

#9 I am a senior citizen...

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

#10 What do retirees call a long lunch?

The Bald and the Beautiful.

#11 Looks like Ellie Mae is not happy about her surprise 90th birthday party.

#12 I am a senior citizen...

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

#13 I am a senior citizen...

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

#14 Why do retirees count pennies?

They are the only ones who have the time.

#15 Why do retirees smile all the time?

Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

#16 I am a senior citizen...

I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts 'till 8 pm.

#17 Why do retirees count pennies?

By the time you reach 60, lots of body parts are larger than they used to be. Especially your tattoos.

#18 Nobody could beat Martha at beer pong. Nobody.

#19 I am a senior citizen...

I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.