The Most Embarrassing Things Kids Ever Walked In On Their Parents Doing.

Introduction

No one thinks it's inherently weird for a child to live with their parents. In fact, that whole "family unit" thing is considered the very fabric of societywhere else would kids live? And yet, as these several Reddit threads from the past few years showsome from the parent's perspectives and some from the children'sit becomes clear the cohabitation of children and adults is the reason society is so messed up. After what the following people saw their parents doing, it's no wonder everyone you meet is a complete psychopath.

1. At least this extremely scarring experience for Mdavis7108's little boy led to a hilarious question. And then probably even more scarring.

My wife an I were fooling around, I was going down on her while using her toy( one that turns and gyrates and vibrates, very loud) on her. Being responsible adults I assumed I had locked the door to our room after putting the kids to sleep. Anywho, she is lost in her pleasure, edging closer to orgasm, and I have my head buried between her thighs, with my naked ass in the air, going to town, so of course neither of us hear the door open, or our 7 year old son wander in until he says "Mom? Agh! Oh, ummm..." We quickly attempt to cover up while he throws his hands over his face in an attempt to un see the terrible things I was doing to his mother except he leaves his fingers spread apart and puts his hands near his forehead, his body frozen in place in horror. I start laughing, mostly due to embarrassment and his ineffective attempt to hide. My wife takes him to his room and talks to him, asking if he has any questions. All he could come up with was, "Does this mean I am going to have another sister?"

TLDR: 7 year old son catches me going down on wife, expects siblings.

2. You just read a very long story. Reward yourself with this short but psychologically haunting one from South-West.

i remember when i was about 18 i came home early from a party and went down into my basement to just chill out for a bit. i could hear my parents talking upstairs in their room when i first came home, thinking they were just having a conversation i thought nothing of it. about five minutes later i hear the headboard smashing against the wall and and my mom screaming "o ya fuck me in the ass" lets just say prior to this i thought my mom was a prude

3. GetCapeFly operated for years under the impression that his father just had a really great deodorant recipe.

I caught my dad cutting coke when I was six. He told me it was anti-sweat powder for a friend that had very sweaty feet and let me help him bag it up (into "single foot usage") I only realised a few years ago what was actually happening...

4. What was worse for the child of ihatelorigrimes? Believing his mom had 'secret butt surgery' or thinking she stole his panty liners?

This is somewhat related...not that I was doing anything bad, but I definitely felt "caught."

My son has Crohn's Disease and when he was diagnosed at 6, he had a lot of trouble with an abscess, for which he needed minor surgery. So, after the surgery, he was left with a wick in place (on his butt) to help the abscess drain. Anyone who has ever been through this knows its common for people to wear a pad or panty liner during the draining phase, for convenience. So, my little then-7-year-old would go happily off to school with a secret backpack pocket full of panty liners, in case he needed them. Predictably, being 7 and being male, he thought this was the only use for panty liners.

Cut to a few months later, I am alone in the bathroom and starting to suspect its about to be that time of the month. My son ended up walking right in just as I was affixing a panty liner in place.

I cannot accurately describe the look of shock and confusion on his little face. He looked right at me and yelled, "Mom! I see you with my butt things! Take that off! Those are mine!"

He's come to be convinced I had secret butt surgery and didn't tell anyone.

5. Radiumcandy confronts probably the most disturbing fetish on this list with the nonchalance of rejecting a bad dad joke.

I caught my dad jerking off to porn with the cat on his lap. Dad no.

6. Can everyone please teach their parents how to log out of their email accounts so you don't end up like this guy?

Saw my dad's craiglist e-mails to couples looking for a sexual partner. He's married. He used the phrase "I have a long talented tongue that never gets tired". Needless to say, I'm glad I don't live at home anymore.

7. Ashmgee's child will never see sex, or dancing, like a normal person.

Apparently my three year old woke up the other night without my hubby and I knowing. We were in the middle of having passionate hot and steamy sex and she watched from the door without making a peep. Those of you with three year olds know that right there is impressive. But it gets better... She watches us and then sneaks back into her room, closes the door and goes to sleep. Something she has NEVER done.

The next morning we are eating breakfast together and she says out of no where" mommy why was daddy dancing on your butt last night?" I literally choked on my coffee and said "WHAT are you talking about" and then she proceeded to tell me how last night she woke up and saw daddy dancing on my butt and then started to gyrate in the middle of the kitchen showing how he was dancing. My hubby could not lift his head out of embarrassment and left me to answer her question.. The only thing I could think to say was we were having a dance competition and it was hot :( ... annnnnnd now she keeps asking to have a "dance off"

Edit: To the NON parents commenting asking why I lied to her and saying that I am confusing her.. Please please please understand that explaining sex to a 3 year old is not only inappropriate it would be damn near impossible. They just don't have the ability to comprehend something like that. Just this morning she and I went at it for an hour about why she cant wear a princess costume to school. There is NO way in hell I would even attempt to explain sex. She has more important things to learn at this age.

8. Take a welcome break from sex stories and enjoy the tale of Stinkypoop's dad caught being a wizard.

I walked in on my dad doing a bong rip when I was 4-5. I asked him, "What's that potion?", and he just told me I was dreaming and to go back to bed. I thought my dad was a wizard till I was like 8.

9. And this ninja dad whose kid, scarlettenoir, overheard pops explaining to the police that he's not actually a ninja.

So, I have several stories about my dad. He's what you would call a career criminal with a big heart and quite the quirky side to him.

At one point he ran a business as a commercial diver who retrieved golf balls from the lakes and ponds of golf courses. He had to have contracts with the country clubs in order to work their ponds, but if anyone ever denied him a contract he would dress like a ninja and sneak out on their property at night to retrieve the balls any way. These were usually courses that had golfers who used balls like Titleist ProV1s and Callaway and other expensive branded golf balls. I "caught" my dad sneaking out many a time doing this. He was eventually caught and lost all of his current contracts when news spread.

Another time, my dad was ripped off by his business partner and took revenge. The partner owned a golf shop and sold the balls my dad retrieved after my dad had cleaned them. He started withholding all of the profits for himself. This was a bad move on the part of my dad's business partner. I remember one night, when I was 14 or 15, I again saw my dad dressed all in black with a ski mask, holding a wooden baseball bat. At the time I thought he was just sneaking off to another course again, but kinda wondered about the baseball bat. A week later, a cop comes to our door asking to speak with my dad. He comes into the living room and sits down with my dad. I was hiding out on the stairs down to our basement so I could listen to the conversation. The cop was there to tell my dad his business partner had filed a complaint to the police that he was "viciously and without warrant attacked by a ninja on his doorstep in the dead of night." I swear I heard my dad burst into laughter and then calmly explain to the cop that his business partner really liked to drink, and get in bar brawls, and that's probably all that really happened. The cop then finished up talking to my father, warned him to watch out for ninjas, and left.

tl;dr I've seen my dad do some crazy shit, including dressing up as a ninja and attacking a man who stole from him.

10. Now back to sex. Do you believe this story from a I_Work_For_The_GovT is true?

I caught my mom smearing a combination of bacon, eggs and syrup on my gagged and tied up dad while yelling "HOW'S BREAKFEST IN BED, BITCH!".

They insist it is true.

"True story. Didn't tell it for the shock value."