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These Marriage Tweets Are The Best Thing Since Cake And Ice Cream

By Missy aka Tizzy in Funny On 1st June 2018

There are some things that happen between men and women when they are married that most people just will never understand. The only thing that could come close is if you have been living with your significant other for a long time while still not married. You learn to deal with each other's little habits and quirks no matter how annoying they can be. This post is just a little peek of what you can expect in that kind of relationship.

Dishwasher

If you are going to lie to your wife, you might not want to have the evidence of your lie in your hand. Have you ever not wanted to wash dishes so bad that you resort to drinking from a flower vase?

Commandments

This guy has no idea how lucky he is. She only has 152 rules for her house. Some women have an infinite amount of rules. New rules can and will get added to the list daily.

Texting

Not only do they only text about what they need from the store, they also text each other to ask each other to be reminded of things. Once you are married, you totally forget how to use quick memo on your phone.

Sleeping Beauty erm...Beast

Sometimes, when you are happily married, you just stare at your spouse and think about how lucky you really are. Then, they do something like this that just makes you want to rethink your life decisions.

Spending Money

In most marriages, there is one who is a little more willy-nilly with the money than the other person. My husband is no longer surprised when he sees one of my bizarre purchases. As long as the bills are paid first, he is pretty chill.

Laundry Folding Machine

What a great invention for lazy people. It appears that this guy learned real quick about trying to make a snarky remark involving his wife. We are not so sure it kept him totally out of the doghouse, though.

How

This is just crazy. If any of you have not watched golf, it is the quietest sports show on television. There is nothing to hear, like at all. Sounds like her hubby was just being a crab for no reason.

Bad Timing

Husbands have real issues with boundaries. This guy is a great example of that. Most women, especially if they have kids, really enjoy their quiet time in the shower. So, unless you are feeling frisky and want to join, save your stupid questions for when she gets out.

Why are you breathing?

This is that feeling when a spouse rolls over in their sleep and breathes their sleep breath in your face. It makes you want to kick them in the face. Or, when you are reading in bed and they are just breathing really loud. Like, can you just stop breathing altogether?

Dirty Mind

Her hubby has a dirty mind and thought it was about to go down. The trick is on him. The only one who is going to enjoy anything orgasmic is the wife while eating her Kit Kat bar.

One Brain

It sounds like this wife is sick of her husband's shit. It is a good thing that he kept that thought in his head. He might have gotten dropped on it if he said it out loud.

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