Back in the day, most of you probably remember your grandmother sitting in her rocking chair doing cross stitch. She would make all kinds of beautiful patterns and display them proudly on her wall. Or, you might have gotten one as a gift from her at Christmastime. However, these cross stitch patterns are so NSFW that we are almost positive that your grandmother would have rather died than make one of these.
These NSFW Cross Stitch Designs Were Definitely Not Made By Your Grandmother
By
Missy aka Tizzy in
Funny
On 22nd April 2018
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Thug Life
Nothing says gangster more than hearts, rainbows, flowers, and squirrels. In fact, there is nothing gangster at all about this cross stitch pattern. That is what makes it so funny.
We do
There is so much truth in this cross stitch pattern. The only thing that would have made this better is if there was an animal that is actually known for eating their young displayed instead of this cute little giraffe.
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Sounds Fun
It sounds like this lady has life all figured out. Forget about anything else going on around the world. Sit back and have a drink while judging the world around you. It sounds like heaven.
So Sweet
This is one heck of a motivational creation. It starts off with a majestic little unicorn. Then, it goes on telling you to follow your dreams. That is all fine and dandy until they called the person reading it a douchebag. This looks like something right out of one of those cussing adult coloring books.
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Keep Calm
I don't know who started the phrase, "calm your tits", but we love it all the same. The only thing that would make this cross stitch better is if it said "that's" in the last line. I can allow the use of "ur" to slide, but not saying "that's" kind of throws the whole thing off.
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So True
There are not many places where it is socially acceptable to fart. So, saying Home Is Where The Fart Is totally works since it is the only place you can get away with farting and not being judged for it.
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That's Not Helpful
That is probably the least motivational or helpful thing anyone could have put on a cross stitch. I mean, we all know that we are going to die. We do not need a constant reminder of that, though.
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That's Hard
I wonder if she is just a freak or always cold. Or, are we talking about horny-hard nipples or freezing-cold-hard nipples. There is a big difference between the two. Freezing-cold-hard nipple could cut glass and are painful. Having a life that is harder than horny-hard nipples might not be so bad if you think about it.
