True Stories That Are Almost Too Crazy to Believe

#1 Taking Matters Into Your Own…Battleaxe?

"My house was broken into while I was asleep on the couch in the living room. I captured my would-be burglar with a battle axe replica that my roommate had on the wall. A very surprised 911 dispatcher sent the police who eventually got there, arrested my prisoner, and thanked me for not chopping him up."

#2 The Bad Doctor

"There was a french doctor during WWll, who promised Jewish refugees to help them to leave Europe. When they came to his house on the day of departure, with their most precious belongings, he would give them a special "vaccine", since they were allegedly going to south America. He killed them all, took their stuff, also made them pay some high fee for his help in the first place, and dissolved their corpses in his basement with acid."

#3 Well That’s One Way to Fix Things

"We were moving with all our belongings on a little trailer and got stuck in a ditch. The next thing you know, a white mini bus pulls up, and out jumps a half dozen guys who were a weightlifting team from I think Argentina. They LIFTED our trailer up onto the road, climbed back in their van, and drove off. They never spoke or acknowledged us."

#4 Frog Got Your Throat

"I almost choked to death trying to warm up a frog I had picked up. I picked it it up and held it up in my hands to breathe warm air on it and it jumped into my mouth. It lodged in my throat and I could feel it struggling as I horked it up."

#5 There's Something In The Attic

"A 58-year-old man living alone in New Jersey started hearing noises at night and noticing things out of place in his house. He installed video cameras. Turns out a homeless woman had been living in his attic and cupboards for almost a YEAR in his house, undetected. This is why I get freaked out when I hear things at night."

#6 Helluva Waitress

"I received a car as a tip while working as a cocktail waitress. He paid his tab with his two friends and left me a $50 tip (This was over 15 years ago and the tip was almost the cost of the bill). A brand new car was delivered to me at work the next day by his lawyer and I never saw the man again or learned his name."

#7 Kind Of An Important Detail

"I beat an Olympic medalist at volleyball. I usually leave out the fact that she wasn't an Olympian for volleyball. But yeah, I beat her ass good!"

#8 Why Is It Always Snakes?

"One time, someone accidentally shipped me $20,000 worth of boa constrictors. I bought a single boa (worth way less than $20k) from this breeder, but he mixed up the shipping label with that of a gentleman who purchased a high-end breeding colony. Thank God they didn't escape on that mutha fucken plane!"

#9 Conspiracy Theories Everywhere!

"An internet conspiracy theorist implicated me in 9/11. I was on a TV quiz show and some guy used my appearance and the answers I gave as an indication that I was dropping clues about 9/11."

#10 Don't Look In The Mirror Before A Storm

"This is worse than saying Beetlejuice. My parents and my grandma believe lightning bolts can get through the house mirrors. They cover all the mirrors in the house with blankets when there's a storm warning. Apparently, my family believes one of my Uncles died when a flash of lightning came through a mirror and electrocuted him back in the 1940s."

#11 Let’s Slip Into Something a Little More Appropriate

"During my freshmen year of high school, I interviewed for a summer job. I was in a bit of a hurry before the interview. I threw on a pair of slacks and put on my slippers so I could run out to the car to grab my dress shirt. After I finished getting dressed, I raced to the interview. It wasn't until I got out of the car that I realized I forgot to switch from my pink slippers to loafers.

More than likely the interviewer (and my future boss) didn't notice because I landed the job. I haven't been confident enough to try this again, but it was undoubtedly the most comfy interview I have had!"