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Well-Mannered Insults To Use On Your Worst Enemy

By Editorial Staff in Funny On 19th December 2015

You're not a meanie. But that person really irks you! What do you say? Try one of these extremely nice, but brutal put downs. It may not hurt them, but it'll make you feel better all day long.

#1 May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.

#2 May every sock you wear be slightly rotated, just enough for it to be uncomfortable.

#3 May your article load that extra little bit as you're about to click a link so you click an ad instead.

#4 May you forever feel your cellphone vibrating in the pocket it's not even in.

#5 May you always get up from your computer with your headphones still attached.

#6 May your chair produce a sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it to prove that it was just the chair.

#7 May your five year old neighbor have their violin lessons during all of your hangovers.

#8 May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.

#9 May your tea be too hot when you receive it, and too cold by the time you remember it's there.

#10 May your cookie always be slightly too large to fit inside your glass of milk.

#11 May all your Facebook invites be game invites.

#12 May you never be quite certain whether that pressure is a fart or poop.

#13 May your mother come to talk to you, and then leave your door slightly ajar, so that you have to get up and close it.

#14 May both sides of your pillow be warm.

#15 May you never remember these curses when you try to.

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