Who Said It - Sarah Palin Or The Crazy Lady

#1

"Mr. President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke."

#2

#3

"Nuclear weapons are fun. I think every good upstanding American without a criminal history should have one or two of them."

#4

#5

"I'm a strong supporter of the NRA and I honestly believe, down in the bottom of my heart, that we should all start trying to put "FUN" back in funerals."

#6

#7

"It's sad how even adult politicians are worrying about what the other cool politicians think about them. Gotta wonder if the House and Senate are just like one big Gossip Girl episode."

#8

#9

"I think that little Chinese fella Kim Jong-Un is just so cute. I'd like to take him to a good old Alaskan hoe-down sometime this winter."

#10

#11

"Sometimes when I talk I get something like the bird flu. It's called the word flu. Ha ha ha. I just can't get those crispy lil'critters out of my mouth. Dag nabbit!"

#12

#13

"These folks in Alaska don't know I'm an Intellectool. Axetually, I read some book wrote-in by George Orwell every night before I doze off into la-la land. So take that, you suckers, you losers!"

#14

#15

"I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and...Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas."

#16

#17

"These Alinsky-lovin', Orwellian, out-of-touch command-and-control elitists who've been running the show? "Well, they used to rail against big government and the man. Remember that? Huh? They are the man! Their M.O.? It's to play the politics of personal destruction against anyone that they would deem a threat to their power. And they distract - be-bopping from one scandal after another, knowing that there are so many that you can't keep up with all of them. So no one's ever held accountable. From the IRS corruption to you being spied on to, gosh, Benghazi, to bailouts, to, oh, 'Bush's war was bad' but Barack's bombs? Oh, baby. Those red lines? The strategery there that was thought up on the Back 9? Barack's bombs, oh; they're the bomb.' Well, goodness sake."

#18

#19

"Back when I was young, I wanted to ever so badly join the Army but I didn't have a penis. Now that I'm an old gal, how I envy these kids with vaginas who can join the Armed Services. Even the Marine Corps. There's something really sexy about a gal shooting off a machine gun, right fellas?"

#20

#21

"I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out."

#22

#23

"Remember that old advertisement that said, 'Got Milk?" Well, if I ever get into that big political game again, whether it be the Presidency or the director of the downtown soup kitchen, my slogan will be 'Got Guns?'"

#24

#25

"Each and every Wednesday morn after we go to the good ole Alaskan hoe-down, my family loves it when we git back to the ole homestead and I fry up a mess of moose and wolf omelets in that good ole cast-iron skillet."

#26

#27

"Illegal aliens? I'm all for them and I love them. I think every good American citizen who passes a background check and has a clean criminal history should own one or two of them - those dag-nabbed illegals, that is!"

#28

Though in all fairness, Sarah said something similar in 2009..

"I'm all for aliens, I say we should all round them up and let them do some work here since they want to come over or up in here and take our jobs anyway. We just won't pay them."