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#1 Let me fry your eyeballs and dip them in fancy ketchup.
#2 Pffft, yes, I know what sex is. It’s when a woman inserts her boob… into… why are you shaking your head?
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#3 My friends call me the David O. Russell of poopy movies.
#4 My grandma just sold me her computer.
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#5 I want to wear your eyes on my face and rob a bank.
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#6 Check out the gently used merchandise, honey.
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#7 Please bring a headshot and résumé and prepare 16 bars of a show tune I know the words to.
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#8 Can I come by and pick that up? You don’t have to be home. I can handle it alone.
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#9 I’m a gentleman, after all.
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#10 You know, like, in a murder-y way!
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#11 My type? I like dumpster women.
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#12 I don’t care what anyone else says…
#13 I don’t think this is going to work out due to the fact you can drive… and vote… and feed yourself.
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#14 I’m asking for a friend who is a watermelon.
