11 Texts From Thirsty Guys That Every Single Girl Gets
#1 The "Are You Up?"
OK seriouslyif you're going to text at ridiculous inappropriate hours please don't call me "Gurl". That is not going to get you a positive response. Ladies, this is where your Do Not Disturb function comes in oh so handy.
#2 The Not So Subtle "What Are You Wearing?"
I've got nothing against a good sexting session. You know what doesn't make a good sexting session? Asking me about my pajamas. Does the word 'pajamas' sound sexy to you? Me either. And if you ask like this you are not likely to ever get to see them...
#3 The GPS Text
Ok I'm going to do everyone a public service here and just ask men to stop doing this altogether. It's creepy. Like really creepy. Back in the 'good ol days you wouldn't have been able to pinpoint with such horrifying accuracy how close you were to my abode, and it was better that way. You know what's not likely to get you invited in for booty call fun? Scaring the shit out of me by appearing like a stalker.
#4 The Not So Sexy Food Text
Please don't compare my bits (or your bits) to Mexican food. Just don't.
#5 The Wrong Number Booty Call
This one can actually be funnybut it's also just as likely that you might receive some scary stuff that will require brain bleach to get over. Gentleman, when you're sending a booty call text it might be worthwhile to double check the phone number. Trust me on this one. Your best case scenario is you send it to a stranger. Worst case? Your Mom now knows your 'mad skillz' for picking up the ladies.
#6 The Mirror Selfie
You know what I will do if I want to see mirror selfies of hot men? I will browse Instagram. I don't need you to send them to me unsolicited.
#7 The Can't Take A Hint Text
These ones drive me crazy. I'm trying to be polite by informing you that I already have plans. If I wanted to take you up on your offer I probably wouldn't have the aforementioned plans begin at 10 PM...
#8 The "Lets Catch Up" Text
If you really wanted to 'catch up' with me you probably wouldn't be asking at 11 PM...unless of course you work overnight and/or you're a vampire. Otherwise please come up with something more original than this.
#9 The Social Media Lurker
This one is right up there with GPS...it's creepy. If you see me tweeting/instagramming/facebooking and therefore know that I'm awake, have the good sense not to say it. Just drop me a quick note asking something clever...much preferred to "I can see you and now I want you"
#10 The Ignorant/Rude Text
Guyssometimes a girl really is just busy/sleeping/on airplane mode. Contrary to what you might believe it's not always about you and the only thing less attractive than a bad booty call text is a rude/needy overreaction when we don't respond. Stop. Please. Have some self respect.
#11 The Lazy Text
I'm sorry, but this one is absolutely the worst. It's grammatically incorrect and bastardizes the English language and shows absolutely no creativity. These are not skills that make me think you will be a dynamo in bed. Step it up a notch and try a little bit harder...it might result in the night of your life.
