20 Ridiculous Parenting Products That NO Parent Actually Needs
1.Baby Mop
The Baby Mop reminds you that it's never too early to start making them earn their keep.
2. Kickbee
This might be the most ridiculous thing ever. The mom wears a belt, and when the baby kicks it sends messages of "I kicked Mommy!" to Twitter for family and friends to read. It won't be as cute when the baby turns into a toddler.
3. Baby Lasso
It claims to "give you an extra set of hands," but all I see is one false startled move by mom and baby is swinging around by the ankles.
4. Grillz Pacifier
Baby bling should not be a thing. The end.
5. Baby Bangs
Remember how I said that baby bling should not be a thing? Yeah, this falls under that same category. Babies aren't supposed to have hair. They're BABIES!
6. Placenta Teddy Bear
The placenta must be cut in half and rubbed with sea salt to cure it. After it is dried out, it is treated with an emulsifying mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make it soft and pliable. Then, you craft it into a teddy bear.
7. Poop and Pee Alarm
Instead of just changing diapers regularly, this device can sense humidity, odor, and temperature changes, and will beep once for poop and 2 to 3 times for pee. I'm sure the kid will make no correlation between going to the bathroom and a loud beeping noise
8. The Snotsucker
Aspirators are necessary. Attaching a tube to the aspirator and sucking on the other end of it with your mouth is not. Justno.
9. The Zaky Hand Pillow
I'm sure this is practical in that it delivers the feeling of a parent's hand on the baby, but it still looks like the kid is being accosted by either a disembodied muppet or Thing from The Addams Family.
10. Why Cry Crying “Analyzer”
I'll save you the time and say your baby is crying because you spent money on this product promising to help you understand if they're hungry, frustrated, or bored with 90 % accuracy.
11. iPotty
Today parents can plop the kids on the potty and instead of throwing them a People magazine to browse, they can entertain them with apps. Yes, there's an app to crap, apparently.
12. The Crumb Cap
I understand children can be walking disasters, but has it really come to this?
13. Windi Gas Relievers
Of course this comes from the same company that brought you the snot tube baby butt plugs to help them relieve gas.
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15. Pee-Pee Teepee
And I quote, "Simply place the soft cloth cone over his wee-wee during diaper changes to avert a sprinkling."
Or you could use a cloth like a normal person would.
16. Baby Butt Fan
It makes sense to help babies with diaper rash by keeping the area dry, but do you really need a special fan when you can just wave the diaper you're about to put on? Exactly.
17. Breast Milk Jewelry
I hope they're making enough to cover their kid's therapy bills.
18. Buff Baby
You could laugh this one off as a cute lightweight baby rattle if they didn't attach the tagline: "This .2 pound dumbbell rattle will get your baby looking cut and lean. Say ‘goodbye' to baby fat and ‘hello' to baby lats!'"
19. Womb-Shaped Bath Tub
The TummyTub is a "womb-shaped and sized bath that is a gentle transition into baby's next nine months and turns bath time into a soothing ritual that enhances bonding."
20. Snazzy Baby Knee Pads
I understand that these could be helpful on certain surfaces and everything, but unless they're crawling on broken glass, let them live a little or else just go all-in and place them in a bubbl
