29 Clueless Humans Who Failed To Notice Huge Hints Someone Had A Crush On Them.

Difficult to understand?

These 29 stories from a few different Reddit threads are all examples of such humans. Those whose game is so bad, they can't tell when someone else is basically stripping in front of them.

#1 This guy wasn't wrong.

I was sent a picture of a "Halloween" outfit. When I look back and think.. She was just in a bra. I responded with "you'll be cold". Woops.

#2 His response wasn't an innuendo to HookPipeandThinker's flirty statement.

I was persuing him HARD. He was making me dinner at his house and we are chatting. He makes a joke about the hoops he'd have to jump through to get a classy woman like me to sleep with him. I respond with "It wouldn't take all of that for you to get me in your bed..." as I flirtatiously grin at him and roll my eyes towards his bedroom. He laughs and responds with "so what do you like on your salad?". Thankfully I didn't give up on that dork and now we are happily living together in the mountains.

#3 Somethingnu was too focused on school.

"We can go up to my dorm and work on this homework together if you want ..."

"Nah, we can just do it in the dorm lounge over there. "

"Oh... OK."

Still internally scream about this when it comes to mind.

#4 Ask_me_if_Im_lying likes Tekken more than girls.

In high school a girl I walked home with regularly asked me to go to her house to hang out. When we were sitting on her couch, she said that her parents wouldn't be home for hours and asked if there were any 'games' that I've always wanted to play with a girl...

My reply was "I dunno, maybe Tekken or something".. So we played Tekken. On her couch. Alone. For two hours.

Tekken is fun but SERIOUSLY?

#5 This guy's story ended up fine—for someone else.

When I was in high school my entire class were on a field trip that involved quite a bit of walking. During the field trip one of my cute friends said she was tired and asked if I could carry her on my back.

I said "No, I'm pretty tired too, why don't you ask Mike?"She and Mike are getting married in six months.

#6 Iostefini doesn't have a good sense of humor.

I'm female. Had a guy tell me straight out he liked me in highschool.

My response: "You shouldn't joke about stuff like that, you could hurt someone's feelings."

#7 Landocommando17 is undoubtedly a bro.

A girl once told me that out of all the guys she knows I would be the only one she would date and I responded saying sweet

#8 MikeDuck1 ruined the start of a really good teen rom com.

Back in H.S. we had those Graphing Calculators for Math Class.

Anyways, you could write your own programs on them (If you knew how) or just write a bunch of formulas and notes as the "Code". The program wouldn't run, but your could just Edit the code and basically get a "Cheat Sheet"

This cute girl asks me if I could put the formulas into her calculator for the test.

I open "Math1" and the Code said : I THINK YOURE CUTE

Of course, I just assume she wrote this about someone else and it was just an old file. I actually got kind of jealous that she liked someone else. I erased it, put the formula in and give her calculator back.

It wasn't until later that day that I actually kind of put the pieces together that maybe she liked me.

I'm an idiot.

EDIT: I continued to over-analyze it and somehow convinced myself that there was still a chance it wasn't intended for me. If it was intended for me either she would've said something like "Did you see what I wrote?" or try something else the following day. I waited a few days, nothing happened. I did nothing.

I got an A in the class, she didn't get a D.

#9 Prepare your cringe for Akesna.

Watching a film with a female frind of mine, in my bedroom. She was supposed to bring the DVD of ''The Elephant Man", but the DVD inside the case was of another film whose name I forgot. Having known her for a while, I thought it was just like her to mix DVDs. I turned out that the film was basically about teenagers sleeping with each other.

At one point she made a remark :"Well, when a boy and a girl are alone together, something is bound to happen..."

My answer : "Not necessarily. Look at us".

#10 Poor walkthroughthefire forgot herself for a very long time.

This was one that happened to me (I'm a girl), but I might as well share it anyway. There was this guy in my class in elementary school and he told me he had a crush on a girl in our class and if I could guess who, he would tell me. I guessed every girl in my class and he said no to them all, so I eventually just assumed he was messing with me and gave up.

It took me ten years to realize that I'd forgotten to guess myself.

#11 Doghair_inmybeard was very dedicated—to his mother.

So, this happened a few years ago, when i was in high school. This girl i knew calls me and asks me what i'm doing (we had a few days off to prepare for tests).

I tell her "nothing much, just chilling" since no one was home, she asks me if she could come to my place to study (this should have been hint enough, but i was a moron)

So, she comes to place in about 15 mins, we study for a another 30 mins and then she tells me she's done studying, but doesn't feel like going home.

Me, being the clueless moron that i am, take her to my mom's vegetable garden and start showing her all the plants and shit that was there, and ask her if she wanted to help me water 'em, which she agreed to. (I promised my mom that i'll water the plants, so i was pretty fucking happy with myself, at being able to get her do all the work, while i supervised)

But then, after every few minutes or so she'd go "It's too hot outside, let's go inside" and i'll be thinking Bitch it's winter, how the fuck could you be hot outside.

So, i ignored her requests to go inside and we hung outside watering the plants and talking for a good hour or so, before she eventually gave and went home. I realized a few years later, what she meant & why she wanted to sit inside. Just wanted to punch myself in the face.

Tldr; A girl wanted to get it on with me, but i was too dumb to, pick her subtle clues and ended up watering my mom's vegetable garden with her.

#12 Poor little FergusonX. So stupid.

Dang it, story time from my perspective.

Hindsight is 20/20.At work with this girl, K. She comes over to my house a lot. Spends time watching TV, joking around, snacking. I think just having fun together as friends because

1) I have never been in a relationship before. (About 21 at the time)

2) I was raised in a super conservative Christian home.

Anyways, one day her best friend is hanging out with me and asking tons of questions about how I feel about K. "You two are spending a lot of time together, are you going to ask her out?" Of course i respond with how we are just friends, she shouldn't worry about it, blah blah, I am so bad at hints it's painful.

Fast forward a week or so. K is over at my house super late and decides she isn't going home, she will just sleep at my place. I insisted on sleeping on the couch. She was having none of it.

I find a "compromise" and sleep in pajamas for the first time in 10+ years and sleep under the blanket but not the sheet, so we are not actually touching. She gets super cuddly, and I roll over and go to sleep.

TL; DR: Girl tries to sleep with me, I assume too lazy to drive home.

#13 This guy has not moved on, as he shouldn't.

Oh man, something similar happened to me when I was 19 (I'm 23 now).

My next door neighbour who is 2 years younger than I am, had her friend who I thought was insanely cute over for the weekend.

I was really close friends with my neighbour so never thought of her in a sexual way which lead to me fucking my chances of having potentially one of the greatest nights of my life.

We were all laying on her bed talking about what we were going to do the next day, somehow the topic ended up as what helps you fall asleep?

I told them back scratches, pretty much any scratches, head scratches included.

ANYWAY, they told me they'd never fallen asleep with back or head scratches before, so I offered. I started by simultaneously giving them scratches and playing with their hair which they thoroughly enjoyed to the point of fucking moaning. Yes reddit, I had two girls in a bedroom on a bed, no parents at home, basically moaning at my back and head scratches, but wait.

The friend sits up and says, this would be so much easier without a shirt on, takes her shirt and bra off (makes me close my eyes), and insists my neighbour try it as well.

Needless to say, I sat down in between them with one hand on each of their bare naked backs and gave them fucking back scratches.

I was too much of a pussy to do anything because I was worried of what my neighbour would think, but I wanted to so badly because I thought her friend was ridiculously attractive.

I pussied out only to find out later that her friend liked me and that they were both hoping that I'd try something because out of everyone, I was the one who they'd want to be first with, because I've known them both for so long and they trust me (first threesome that is).

Fucken wayyyyy to late to find that out, they both had boyfriends a few months after that anyway and I only found out last year. Now I just sit here and cry myself to sleep scratching my dick.

#14 If only Jono-Tron had been in need of a job.

I remember one time I was at a party talking to one of my friends who I really like. She started talking about her job which involved dressing up like a princess and being a children's party entertainer. I can't exactly remember how the conversation went down but I said "That must be a fun job." and she smiled and said "Yeah but we could use a prince charming" or something along those lines. I being a socially inept blockhead just said something like "Well there are lots of people looking for jobs these days." and went off to get some chips. I still can't believe how dumb I am was.

#15 Richard_yeltser got to play Mario Kart, so there's that.

Incoming text. Approx. 1am. From: Vanessa. "I'm home alone. Come play video games?". I cab down to her place and proceed to destroy her at mario kart. She's not even trying to win! I thought she wanted to play video games?! Eventually, she even admitted it: "Richard_yeltser, I don't really want to play video games anymore". Oh okay, she must be tired. Time to go home!

#16 He'll get it one day, if you tell him so, chowdermagic.

I said I really care about you. He said cool.He didn't get it.

I said no I really care about you, like more than I care about most other people.

He said oh.

OHHHH! Yeah I like you too! We are now happily married. I find myself wondering when he will figure that out too.

#17 Shoelesssailor's boyfriend is slow on the uptake.

I kissed my now boyfriend a year before we started dating.... He thought I slipped... He didn't know I liked him until I showed up at his basic training graduation...

In his defense, he's probably an idiot.

#18 Perhaps betsybotts's ex just had a weird fetish.

Actual conversation between me and (now ex-) boyfriend:

Me: I bought some new leopard print panties, I can't wait for you to see them. Him: I bought printer ink today.

#19 This person's crush realized what was going on when he was already in deep.

I approached him first.

We texted frequently.

I personally invited him to: a group hang out, theatre show I was a part of, a day out together in the city, to be my date for a party, and a movie night.

On one occasion I sat on his lap. On a separate occasion I laid down on his lap. Both times the conversations were flirty, and invitations to kiss me were present.

Whilst a film was playing I would hold his hand.

He finally got a clue when one of my friends congratulated us on becoming a couple. He says he was in denial about it the entire time, as he used to have a lot of bad luck with dating.

My current boyfriend of 4.5 years, ladies and gentlemen.

#20 As an awkward teen, red_raconteur had no other option.

In the 7th grade I was a very awkward child. Kinda chubby, no fashion sense, and my face generally resembled a gorilla. I had already accepted the fact that boys weren't going to like me.

One day I was hanging out with a guy friend, Richard. Richard was a sweet kid and pretty cute and I'd met him through another friend. It was just Richard and me chilling in a hallway when he suddenly asked me to the school dance that was happening on Friday.

I couldn't believe it. A cute guy had just asked me to a dance?! Are you sure this is real life? Say yes, you idiot, say yes!

So of course I did what any reasonable 13 year old girl would do; I screamed and ran away.

Richard didn't want to hang out with me again after that and I still feel bad about to this day, a decade later.

Seems like the thing to do at age five. Oh, this person was 13.

#21 The movie was not that good, slaindragonz.

We were at the movies and she put her head on my chest and a blanket over the both of us. The movie was so damn interesting I hardly noticed. I hope this makes it to everyone, I'm not terribly familiar with how reddit's comment section works . The movie was Men In Black 3. Edit #2 we were at a drive in movie theater. The whole thing took place in the back seats of my truck.

#22 Was LaChaton 14 when this happened?

She kept talking about how firm her breasts were. Told me to touch them to prove it. I poked them. Once.

#23 Aw, aldeia's husband is cute. And needs some more self-esteem.

I knew he liked me. I got in prime kissing position (as in my lips way too close to his to be mistaken for anything else), and he still did nothing. So I kissed him. He barely kissed me back, and when I pulled away and smiled at him he said "I'm confused..." and genuinely looked like he did not believe that what just happened was real. we've been together 7 years now, 3 of which we've been married. He still has moments weekly where I see that same cute disbelieving expression on his face and he'll hug me and say "are you sure this is real? It's too good to be true"

#24 At least soxfan17 picked up on the first hint.

On a trip with a high school sport team, I had a huge crush on a girl on the team. Long story short we start making out in the hotel in a crowded room. She says we should go back to her room because she forgot something. We go back, she sprawls on the bed. I proceed to get on my hands and knees to look for the thing she forgot. We never had sex.

What was soxfan17 looking for—this girl's virginity?

#25 Jukeyb's friend should burn his costume in disgrace.

My friend once wore a banana suit to a party. He was approached by a very attractive girl. They got to talking and she said, "I've always wanted to fuck a guy in a banana suit." His response: "Well if you find a guy I'll let him borrow this one."

EDIT: To all of you saying he was knowingly rejecting her: I realize that's exactly what it sounds like. But he was really just that stupid. He literally had no idea she wanted to have sex with him. It wasn't until the next day that he realized...

#26 LadyParnassus was only trying to help/be a major flirt.

Hey, computer store guy, the best response to "Hey, let me have your number so we can study at my place sometime" is not to roll your eyes and say "Oh yeah, because you're so much smarter than me. I don't need help! I'm fine.

" Though watching your co-worker silently lose his shit in the background was reward enough for that interaction.

#27 Dblydenburgh still isn't sure about these very obvious signs.

Back in high school I was crazy about this girl. We had the same gym class in freshman year, we would usually hang out next to each other and talk. She gave me so many signs that I completely ignored. In middle school she would always ask to hold my hand as we walked to the bus, she was always talking about wanting to find something to do over the weekend, asking what my plans were, she hugged me all the time, one time while one of her sluttier friends was talking about anal she said "I've done it, it doesn't hurt that bad" and kind of winked at me. But the icing on the cake was when we were sitting against a wall, she was in short shorts and said "I shaved this morning, my legs are so smooth!" She grabbed my hand and put it like three inches from her crotch, my only response was "yeah, that is smooth." I didn't realize until years later that she might've been into me.

#28 Piratesrox ended up having a great night.

Walked out of a club with a girl I'd been dancing with all night. She kissed me on the cheek and mentions that we should split a cab back to hers and save some money. "Nah, it's too cold and it's like a 20 minute walk from yours to mine. I'll see you tomorrow though!"

I woke up the next morning with no hangover and the majority of the map on Civ 4.

#29 Someone help lostdiplo.

OK.

So I was backpacking across western Europe a few years ago and ended up in Venice. The hostel where I was staying at had a whole bunch of hot guys from all over the world working there. One of them was an Australian guy who also gave tours of the city.

A for the first two days I went to a beach not too far away, and spent the days in the sun. So I had tanned a bit but as a result my skin was also a bit burnt and felt quite warm to the touch.

Then on the third day, I took the hostel tour with the said hot Australian guy and a whole bunch of other people staying at the hostel. Anyways everyone is looking around the square we were at getting 'hydrated' through a hole in the wall type of bar.

All of a sudden he comes up behind me, puts both of his hands on my shoulders (I was wearing a strapless dress) and tells me, "Don't tell anyone I told you this, but I think you're super hot".

Pretty explicit right?

My answer, "yeah I've been tanning a lot".