AITA? Estranged Dad Refuses to Pay College Tuition For College Aged Kid

The subreddit r/AITA (Am I The Asshole) is known for having some of the most bizarre stories. Often, the verdict comes easy. This time however was a situation that had commenters split many ways. 

This particular debate was kicked into gear when u/livhyun37 posted to Reddit asking whether he was the asshole for refusing to financially support his son through college. What made the situation complicated was the fact that he had been estranged from said son since he was born.

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OP’s son Marty (18) claimed that he had never received any support from his father to which OP responded that he had been paying child support throughout the son’s life.

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He explained that he had come to this arrangement with the mother who had decided to raise Marty alone. 

OP further added, “He said that it was selfish of me to pretend like I didn't have an obligation to him, and I told him I did have an obligation, which was to pay for him until he was an adult. He protested saying that I "never gave him anything". Which just isn't true, I made sure Jade had the money to care for him, and gave him gifts through Jade on occasion.”

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He also added that he had a friendly relationship with the child’s mother and had helped them financially and covered ‘extracurriculars’ and ‘groceries’. 

“I funded a whole lot of my son's life, I basically paid for everything Jade couldn't, like extracurriculars and sometimes even bills and groceries if she was in a bad spot.”

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Although his son was unhappy with OP’s level of contribution, the mother agreed with OP and considered the request unreasonable.

“...she's thankful that I was there to support them both. She told Marty he had other options, and it would hurt my finances too (his tuition is tens of thousands of dollars, I get paid more than average, but not enough to afford that).”

This made OP’s son more upset, “He's pissed at Jade for taking my side, saying I'm an unsupportive bum, and that I've done nothing for him in the long run.”

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Commenters were confused by the situation and the responses skewed multiple ways.

One commenter said that while he wasn’t the asshole, he couldn’t claim that he did anything above the bare minimum.

“NTA for not paying tuition. It sounds like you have fulfilled the obligations set by you & Jade.

But don’t pretend that you don’t deserve to be called an unsupportive bum by your son. It absolutely sounds like the truth given what you’ve written. You gave Jade the monetary support, not your kid.”

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Another said, “NTA - and it’s very difficult to call you this, because you really sound like one but yeah you're under no obligation to pay for college or really anything now. Just sucks that you wanted nothing to do with your child.”

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Quite a few also questioned why he would stay in contact with the mother often enough to be considered friends yet not have met his child more than a few times. They also added that this would have confused the child growing up.

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