Bizarre Thoughts That Pretty Much Sum Up Menstruation — Period

#1 Sometimes I consider getting pregnant just to evade period monster for 9 month

I'm not trying to conceive, but I wouldn't be mad if it happened.

#2 "We have to do jumping jacks in this boot camp class? Are you effing kidding me?!"

#3 You know it's bad when my toilet bowl looks like a scene from Supernatural.

#4 You crave basically mountains of food.

#5 "Why does it feel like I've been hibernating since 2007 when my alarm clock goes off?"

#6 Is it possible to lose this much blood and not die?

#7 I have contemplated committing murder for much less than a jar of pickles.

#8 "Well, now I want to have sex…"

#9 And you get into fights you'd normally never get into.

#10 "Phew, it's over. I can finally leave the tampons at home. WAIT—false alarm."

#11 Cry at the drop of a hat.

#12 You each know your period should be around the corner.

#13 And then you get even more stressed when it's not on time.

#14 Did The Earth Just Move, Or Was That Just Me And My Ladybits?

#15 How Socially Acceptable Would It Be For Me To Sit On That?

#16 Oh, Look, A Me-Shaped Hole On The Couch

#17 How Much Midol And Alcohol Can I Mix?

#18 "OK…NOW it's gone." I think?

See, that wasn't so bad. Being a lady is awesome again!