Burger King Wants To Scare You With Its Black Buns.

By maks in Bizarre On 27th September 2015


Burger King will throw caution to the wind this Halloween and offer customers something they absolutely never asked for on the famously delicious Whopper: black burger buns. Burger King, the fast food geniuses who combined chicken and fries to make "chicken fries" (arguable the greatest advancement in food since someone figured out that adding milk to ice cream made it into a drinkable beverage), now have so much clout in the food business that they can, for a limited time, offer a sandwich with bread that's the least-edible-looking color. Black.


Now, you might be thinking, "Isn't Pumpernickel black? This isn't such a weird choice." You're misremembering the time you tried Pumpernickel in 2006 and went straight back to whole wheat. Pumpernickel is a brownish purple. This bun is black. Brownish-purple is the color of the sky at dusk when it's overcast. This burger bun is the color of a Black Hole.

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The HallowWhopper (which I hope everyone calls it) will be available for $4.99 starting September 28th. It will come with A1 Steak Sauce since everyone loves the taste of A1 but doesn't want it anywhere near their steak. Much like how everyone likes the color black (it's slimming and sophisticated) but no one wants it associated with their food (except for beans).


If anyone is freaked out by this news, don't fret. Burger King is here to support you with a loving tenderness all their own:

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