You have to be pretty smokin' to pull off wearing a tank top. Unfortunately, many people, including celebs try to get away with it anyway. Tank tops are one of those pieces of clothing that make you look like a moron and should never be worn in public, no matter who you are or what the heat index is. But guess what, all of the celebrities in this article look goofy too, even though they are trying to make it look cool, it's just not working.
Celebs Who Love Wearing Tank Tops, But Really Shouldn’t
#1 Miley Cyrus
Miley is on every sort of list from appearance to outrageousness. So it's no surprise that she is on this list as well, as her constant wearing of tank tops is a little weird. She simply has zero ability to choose the proper fashion or clothing and never is sure where she is going when picking out the proper attire. The sad part is that Miley is a train wreck who thinks she's being cool. Some of you may think she is pretty cool too, and that's good. That's why she's famous. However, the rest of the world sees her coming our way in a tank top and can't look away, no matter how hard we try.
#2 Ariel Winter
Let's face it. She just looks like a street hooker in her tank tops, which she wears EVERYWHERE. The Modern Family star, who underwent breast reduction surgery last year, has never let her body stand in her way. She grew up in front of our faces on the hit sitcom, always the nerdy middle child, but lately, she's been flaunting her body anywhere she can. We don't know why. She is short, squatty, and always dresses in the worst clothes possible. No. Just, no.
#3 Khloe Kardashian
The homeliest sister, Khloe never seemed to fit in. She lacks class, style and apparently doesn't use the same wardrobe and makeup people the rest of her family does. If you are looking at her for the first time you are probably thinking "People of Walmart" right now. Khloe and her body need to be considered a tank top free zone, for all of our sake.
#4 Nicolas Cage
He wore this tanker for his 1997 film Con-Air, so it's not really his fault he looks like a goober. However, his choices in other areas are just as bad and this still from the movie is just a little proof that tank tops are wrong. This is an extra special kind of tank top, which is known as the “wife beater.” The point of it is apparently for the wearer to seem tough, and super cool, but the end result is not quite that. Instead, Cage looks like a total idiot. Marlon Brando pulled it off in A Streetcar Named Desire, but since then, nobody has been able to wear one and look appropriate. The truth is, seeing this picture for the first time conjures up a backwoods redneck.
#5 Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian looks awful in a tank top. In fact, Kim Kardashian looks pretty awful in general. Some of you out there love her, and some hate her. I fall into a third category; I wonder why you care about her at all. It takes a lot of makeup and fancy clothes to make her appear as a semi-gorgeous woman. Hat's off to the magician who works on the entire family for pulling off the unimaginable. With all the money and resources this girl has, why is she constantly being photographed in a little girls tank top? Obviously to highlight her breasts, but she doesn't quite pull this off. Don't get me started on those leggings.
#6 Jillian Michaels
She's a personal trainer who rose to 'fame' as a fitness guru on The Biggest Loser before joining The Doctors, and tank tops are what trainers wear. But why is she dressed for work every day, all day long? She appears ready to get down and do a few pushups at the drop of a hat. She lost some weight and now tells people how to do it, and she isn't that good at it. The thing is, she seems to be popping up everywhere lately and she's never dressed appropriately for the event.
#7 Demi Moore
There is no denying that Demi is a beautiful woman and was sure hot in the 1980s. But the thing is, this is 2017 and she doesn't have the same body any longer. She probably couldn't snatch up a 21-year-old hot celebrity today like she did Ashton Kutcher and though her body is still pretty shapely, what's with always being seen in public dressed like a homeless lady? She is aging gracefully but wearing tank tops everywhere and torn jeans are just something a woman of her age and fame do. Grow up Demi, you're not the hottest girl in town anymore.
#8 Connor Cruise
Connor Cruise is the adopted son of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, so he lives the life of a millionaire, and also is devoted to Scientology like his father. So he is bound to be seen in some really stupid clothing. There is almost no way out of it under those circumstances. Still, though, Connor, here is a pro tip: with the whole “Tom Cruise is my dad and I am a Scientologist” thing going on, you already have two strikes against you. The tank top is going to make three. If I were you I would hook up with your mom and have her take you shopping, and buy you some real clothes. Oh, and the aliens might not approve of those striped tank tops.
#9 Russell Brand
Speaking of attention, oh look who it is! Russell Brand is possibly one of the most desperate celebrities for attention that you could find anywhere. First he was addicted to everything, from sex to drugs and everything else in between, then he became all enlightened and spouting off about feminism and such. He recently had a baby of which he said, “I’m thinking of calling him or her. We don’t know the gender I may not even ever impose a gender upon it, let the child grow up and be the whatever the hell it is, never tell it there is such a concept.” Dude, will you just shut up? No one cares. What we do care about is having to look at you wearing all the ridiculous outfits that you wear. In particular, lose the tank tops. As soon as possible.
#10 Adam Levine
This one is tough. If you think Adam looks HOT or COOL in this picture or any picture where he is wearing skinny jeans and his signature KMart tank tops, you're probably around 15 years old. This is another case of a celeb trying to appeal to a younger audience and never growing out of it. Yeah, we get it, Adam, you have tattoos and you hit the gym every once in a while. But listen, none of us are impressed by this look that you have going on. Everything you might gain by how hot you might think you look is overruled by how dumb you actually look.
#11 Gwen Stefani
There has never been a celebrity whose looks are more overrated than Gwen Stefani. She is always trying weird and oddball things with her hair and accessories. Some women think she's the cat's meow and most men think she's hotter than Mississippi in July. But take a good look at her. Her hair is cut and clipped oddly, the color is pure bleach, those lips are a bit much, and she rarely ever looks "beautiful". It isn’t that she is really quite ugly, but she is totally overrated when it comes to her looks, which probably has a lot to do with her ridiculous taste in clothes. I mean, come on Gwen, you are 47-years-old. I know you have a brand to protect, but have some pride and lose the tank tops for good.
#12 Justin Theroux
Justin Theroux is an actor who has starred in the David Lynch movie Mulholland Drive, as well as the HBO series The Leftovers. He makes a really big mistake with the whole tank top thing that a lot of guys make, so I am going to point it out, just so all you men reading at home don’t make the same mistake. See how he is strolling around wearing combat boots, ripped jeans and a tank top? See how it is obvious that he is trying to present himself as really tough and macho? See how they reality of the situation is that he just looks like some dub actor that is trying way too hard? Don’t make this same mistake at home. If you are going to rock the combat boots and the ripped jeans, don’t put on the tank top. It turns your look from “bad boy” into “poser.” Actually, he looks exactly like any country music singer in Nashville.
#13 James Kennedy
Vanderpump Rules star Kennedy thinks he's a singer, but he's actually a grade-A douche. He was recently kicked off from a plane for being too drunk and was even fired from his job on his series, which is a show in which you are more likely than most to see a bunch of idiots rolling around in tank tops. That hair is just totally ridiculous, and the way he acts is even worse. When sober he is just a bit of an idiot, but when he drinks he becomes pretty much the biggest idiot in the world. The dude simply cannot hold his liquor. If there were a poll for “Most Likely to be Punched in the Face” James would be at the top of mine and everyone else’s list. Oh, and he looks awful in tank tops.
#14 Pauly D
Of all the douchebags who were on Jersey Shore, Pauly D was probably the least douchey. He never had a major scandal and actually is a working DJ for big events and celebrities. Pauly was basically on the show to get drunk and make money, and he seemed to never cross that line into being made a fool of. So while we have to give him some cred for that, we simply can’t do that for the way he dresses. This guy literally lives in tank tops. Just like Adam Levine, he appears to be trying to show off his tats and the fact that he has some muscle mass. But it's time to move on and dress for your age, Pauly. All right, the guy wears his hair in a blowback, and lives by the mantra “Gym, Tan, Laundry” so what did we really expect?
#15 Shia LaBeouf
Shia seems to do everything with the knowledge that any publicity is good publicity. The guy is a wreck. Does he wake up being one, or does he have to sort of work up to it? Like does he need to shower and have some coffee before he starts being an idiot, or does it just magically happen? When making a list of people who shouldn't wear tank tops, Shia needed to be on it. You rarely see him caught in one of his many lame stunts captured by paparazzi without a tank top on, and they are always loose fitting. Shia looking dumb in a tank top is just one of his many problems, but hey, he sure does look bad in them.
