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#1 No, dog. That’s not how you take a nap.
#2 WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, DOG?
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#3 How… how… did you even get into this position, dog?
#4 That’s a great seal impression but you are a DOG, dog.
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#5 You don’t look so good, dog. Maybe you should sit down.
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#6 Dog. This is not how you welcome your human home after a long day.
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#7 Dog. YOU are supposed to protect the homestead.
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#8 OK, maybe fetch is a little out of your league.
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#9 Not how we go for rides.
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#10 Not how we ask to come inside.
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#11 This is not how we beg for treats.
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#12 Have a snack.
#13 You’re supposed to stick your head out the window.
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#14 Are you OK?
#15 NOT like that, dog!
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#16 And this is certainly not how we use the doggy door.
#17 This isn’t how you play, dog. Try fetch.
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#18 Dog?
#19 Cut that OUT!
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#20 Go play outside.
#21 Dog.
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#22 DOG!
#23 Not what I meant when I said “sit.”
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#24 This is not how we go for walks.
#25 That’s not how you eat your dinner.
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#26 All right. You win this time.
#27 Dogs don’t pee like this.
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#28 Go for a walk.
#29 And that trap was for the raccoons.
