Elon Musk Responds To Wild Claim Chess Grandmaster Won Using Anal Beads

It's a strange moment in the world of chess. Players agree to play naked to demonstrate that they can't even beat a great chess player by cheating when chess robots aren't snapping their fingers at them.

Hans Niemann, a 19-year-old, defeated Magnus Carlsen, the world chess champion, on Sunday at the Sinquefield Cup by utilizing black pieces. The victory was unexpected, but the true shock came the next day when the two were scheduled to play. The world champion resigned from the contest before it could happen. He announced his withdrawal from the contest on Twitter and included a link to a clip of former Chelsea manager José Mourinho saying, "If I speak, I'm in big trouble."

The cryptic tweet didn't fully solve the mystery. Other players, notably grandmaster and chess streamer Hikaru Nakamura, believed that Carlsen withdrew because he thought Niemann was cheating.

The strangest idea surrounding Niemann's withdrawal was that he had cheated by employing anal beads, which vibrate to transmit moves to the grand master. However, Carlsen has not accused Niemann of cheating himself. Today, it would be difficult to cheat in a chess game, especially with the shockingly rigorous security checks that saw Niemann's gum being examined by security before the chess equivalent of kickoff. This hasn't stopped the anal bead idea, which in online chess communities has taken on a life of its own.

"That's probably a good one. An anal bead would probably beat the [security checks]," grandmaster and chess twitch streamer Eric "chessbrah" Hansen said of the theory, adding "I don't know. I told you it was a prostate massage, but I'm not an expert on that stuff."

The theory (which has no evidence behind it) caught the attention of Elon Musk, who tweeted (and then deleted): "Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one can see (cause it’s in ur butt)' – Schopenhauer".

Niemann has experienced great success in the chess world.

"He has gained the most rating points of any [grand master]-level player since 2021," as chess analysis blog Pawnalyze puts it, "by a lot".

They concluded on their blog that Niemann's record was impressive but not significantly out of the ordinary to offer proof of cheating, adding, "To date, there's no evidence of Niemann cheating over the board, but we do know that his rise to 2,700+ is so incredible the chess community has collectively raised an eyebrow."

Niemann acknowledged cheating in internet games in the past in an interview with Saint Louis Chess Club following the controversy surrounding Carlsen's withdrawal. However, he claims that this occurred when he was 12 years old and his friend assisted him in online tournaments. He also claims that this occurred later, as he was trying to expand his twitch stream while streaming unrated games online during the pandemic.

“What I want people to know about this is that I am deeply, deeply sorry for my mistake," he said. "I know my actions have consequences and I suffered those consequences. During that time I stepped away from a very lucrative streaming career, I stopped playing in all events and I lost a lot of close friendships and relationships."

He went on to say that he had been working nonstop to improve his game since he "decided the only way to make up for my error was to prove that I could win over the board events," adding that he had not cheated in any over the board competitions, such as those played versus Carlsen.

“That has been my mission. And that is why I have lived in a suitcase and played 260 games in one year, trained for 12 hours a day, because I have something to prove.”

He offered to play nude, which was a bit rare for someone outside the strip-chess world, to show his innocence.

“If they want me to strip fully naked, I will do it,” Niemann said. “I don’t care. Because I know I am clean... You want me to play in a closed box with zero electronic transmission, I don’t care I’m here to win and that is my goal regardless.”