Expectation VS Reality: Holiday Edition

#1 Expectation VS Reality: The Holiday Edition

"it's the most wonderful time of the year!" So when we picture the holiday season in our mind's eye we have a tendency to fantasize, spectacularize, and envision absolute perfection and beauty. We see it in the movies, on TV, in store windows, that "PERFECT" holiday experience. However..... sometimes things just don't turn out as expected.

#2 EXPECTATION

This is the year you're finally going to decorate that house and yard. Maybe even outdo those pesky neighbors with your glitz and glamour, synchronized lighting display all set to music. It's going to be perfect.

#3 REALITY

After 8 hours outside trying to untangle the stings of lights, and realizing you have no creative ability whatsoever, you give up. Eh, at least you have some decorations on your house, right?

#4 EXPECTATION

Your Christmas tree is going to be splendid. Simply perfect. Maybe this year you'll even put it in the window so all the neighborhood can see how lovely you decorated your tree. It's going to twinkle and shine, and be amazing.

#5 REALITY

Who has time to bother with lugging the decorations and that artificial tree down from the attic? And go out in the woods and cut your own? No way! A tree is a tree. Maybe if you just stick it on the table or over in the corner, and give it a little love, it will be just amazing!

#6 EXPECTATION

When you wake up on Christmas morning, the snow will be falling so lightly, covering everything with a beautiful blanket of snowy white. The fine flakes will be glistening off of the street lamps and your beautiful outdoor decorative lighting.

#7 REALITY

WRONG! You'll either wake up to no snow at all, and a nice brownish green muddy yard, or to a tremendous, blinding BLIZZARD. But her, at least that fireplace will come in handy because the temperatures will be quickly dropping all day long.

#8 EXPECTATION

When you do put up those outdoor lights and decorations, you just know it's going to be on that one day, when it's not too cold, not snowy, and everything is going to work out splendidly. You'll put them all in place, flick that switch and be all done with your display.

#9 REALITY

Haha.. it's going to be more like Clark Griswald's display. You'll use too much electricity and overload the circuits and cause a fire. The lights wont come on, and if they do, you'll probably blow the entire streets power. You didn't think it was going to go easy did you? You're lucky it wasn't 25 below zero outside.

#10 EXPECTATION

Okay, this holiday you just have to gather the kittens and take a gorgeous photograph of them. Maybe it will be your family Christmas card. They are so adorable, and they seem just like purrrfect little angels during the Holidays.

#11 REALITY

Are you serious? They're cats! They climb. They absolutely hate blinking lights of any kind. And don't even think that tree topper is safe, because that thing is going to be crashing to the floor before you can say CHEERS!

#12 EXPECTATION

You just know this year you're going to get the best present ever. Maybe a new book, a vacation, spa treatments, or possibly this year... just maybe, he'll pop the question and give you that engagement ring you've been hinting for all year long. Fingers crossed.

#13 REALITY

Stupid you! He must think you're a bit on the heavy side because he got you exercise equipment. It's the perfect gift you were waiting for. If you're lucky, he even tossed in a membership to the gym, so you can work off all that extra Holiday weight.

#14 EXPECTATION

This year the entire family is going to be together. Everyone. You'll gather around the tree and sing caroll's and eat dinner, talk about good times, and share gifts. It will be such a joyous occasion catching up with all the family.

#15 REALITY

But there's always that ONE. That one family member who just ruins everything. There will be no catching up or singing, there is going to be some punching and kicking before the tree comes tumbling down. You promise yourself that next year it will be different, and nobody is going to ruin it for you. Then the wife invites THOSE relatives again. Oh No!!

#16 EXPECTATION

Dinner is going to be amazing. The turkey or ham will be cooked to perfection. Juicy and succulent. Everyone will sit around the table and be thankful to have made it through another year, while enjoying a nice home cooked meal. Just like on Martha Stewart.

#17 REALITY

Yeah, right! Everyone will start chowing down before you finish saying Grace. They'll act like Barbarians, say inappropriate things, someone will start talking politics, and the dinner will be ruined. You'll be lucky if the food doesn't start getting thrown from one end of the dining room to the other. Happy Holidays!

#18 EXPECTATION

You just know you're gonna look FLY in your brand new Christmas outfit. You'll be so cool, the best dressed guy at the office party. It's the clothes that make the man, and your Holiday clothes will just be the cat's meow.

#19 REALITY

The reality is, you'll actually end up dressing a little more like this. That ugly Christmas sweater that Granny gave you 2 months earlier, just in case she didn't survive til Christmas, is going to make you the talk of the town. You're going to look HOT! But hey, at least that sweater got some use this year.

#20 EXPECTATION

So, maybe this year the kid needs to go to Santa's Workshop in the local mall and sit on Santa's lap and tell him how good he has been all year and what it is he wants Santa to bring him on Christmas Eve. It'll be simply adorable, right? Don't forget to purchase that $10.00 photo from the elf to capture the event.

#21 REALITY

Oh that's right. Little Timmy hasn't been good this year. Or, any year. In fact, Timmy is an asshole. He won't sit still, he won't tell Santa what he wants for Christmas, and he won't put up with any bullshit either. No thanks, we'll pass on that souvenier photo too.

#22 EXPECTATION

It's the Holiday Season. You are going all out. No more Scrooge for you. Every day is going to be fun, upbeat, and surprisingly happy. You'll dance, go to parties, go out for drinks, dress in fun clothing, and maybe even be yourself for a change. Every cup of fruit punch will be spiked with joy!

#23 REALITY

Really? You have work to do. By the time you're finished with Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and all the other crap, like wrapping gifts, decorating, and cleaning, you just want to relax by the fire and be alone. BAH HUMBUG!!

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