I Was Invited To Stay Over With A Friend In Her Bed And Didn't Make A Move, My Friend Thinks I'm An Idiot

By maks in Community On 28th June 2024
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He turned to Reddit to figure out if he completely misread the situation or not.

At 23, he was invited to crash in her bed after a night that included a few drinks and some weed.

His friend suggested it was safer than him trying to get home in his state, saying: "hey you're drunk/high, you don't have to walk home or get an Uber at 2am."

As they got ready for bed, things stayed pretty chill. They chatted about sex in general but without any weird vibes or tension. 

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When it was time to actually hit the sack, she casually dropped a, "Do you want to cuddle in bed?"

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Considering she'd compared him to her little brother earlier that evening, he took the whole invite as nothing more than a friendly gesture.

The next day, though, his friend threw him for a loop by teasing him for not making a move. 

She laughed and said: "Obviously if someone invites you to sleep over in their bed they want to do something, you should have made a move." 

That comment sent him straight to Reddit, looking for some clarity on whether he was totally off base.

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The folks on Reddit threw in their two cents. One person pointed out:

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"If you feel that you had mixed signals, just call or talk to her. She cared enough about your well-being to invite you to her house."

Another said: "Think of it this way, you're much smarter and better off for making the mistake of 'not doing enough' than you are if you made the mistake of 'doing too much'."

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Yet, not everyone agreed it was all innocent. 

One user suggested: "She almost certainly wanted more but didn't dare to ask it and waited for you to make your move. The expectations she tried to set was 'at least cuddle', not 'at most cuddle'." 

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But another chimed in from a different angle: "As a girl, I think you did the right thing. Maybe she really liked you or considered you a comforting person and that's why she offered to cuddle, but this is not exactly a 100% invitation to sex, as others say."

After mulling over the mixed advice, he decided to just ask her directly. 

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He later updated his post: "I’ve decided since I’m getting some opinions both ways I’m just gonna straight up ask her later."

When he finally talked to her, it turns out his gut feeling wasn't wrong. 

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She confirmed: "She said that she had a great night and does feel really close to me, just that sex was never really the goal that night."

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She hinted at the possibility of something more down the line but made it clear that was not on the agenda that particular night.

He wrapped up his updates feeling pretty good about the whole thing: 

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"So here’s the good news, there were no hurt feelings AND while we’re both going out of town for the holiday weekend, we’re making plans to see each other again when we’re back next week."

This whole ordeal turned into a lesson in communication and reading between the lines—or figuring out when there's actually nothing between them at all. 

It's a reminder that sometimes, you just have to ask to get the real story.