If You're Married, You'll Totally Get These 17 Hilarious Tweets

#1 Double standards. Get used to 'em

#2 One of the best things about having a husband: you can convince him of just about anything

And if you're the husband, your mantra should just become "I'm sorry honey."

#3 Sometimes the little things will strain your relationship

#4 If you're married, sharing finances should be nothing new to you

#5 You may still feel like Wayne, but she's a little too mature to be Garth

#6 Actually, your maturity level will probably never be on par with your husband/wife

At least he keeps his donut glasses clean.

#7 The keep to a successful marriage: keep the romance alive

#8 "We may share a bed, a house, a car, kids and a life together, but don't touch my Kit-Kats"

#9 Pro tip: unless you become a mindreader, you will never, ever be right

#10 "Hey babe, do you think I could have more than two inches on the side of the mattress tonight?

"Oh are you asleep? Okay, goodnight honey." *falls off bed*

#11 If your marriage is truly happy, your husband/wife won't let a silly thing like sleep get in the way of a truly great cat video

#12 This is one of the greatest discoveries a husband can make

Also, throw a fit every time your wife drags you along shopping. If you make the experience miserable enough for her, you won't have to go anymore. Problem solved!

#13 Sometimes you just have to wait and see who cracks first

#14 Actually, marriage is just one lifelong standoff

#15 Because 50/50 is better than "absolutely not tonight"

#16 I knew they did this on purpose!

But I'll be damned if it isn't some top-quality trolling.

#17 Finally, if you want to keep your marriage happy for the rest of your life: