Kelly Clarkson Reveals She's Stopped Feeling 'Incredibly Sad Deep Inside' For The First Time In Years

Clarkson has been quite candid regarding her past challenges, sharing her experiences with depression and thoughts of suicide during the initial stages of her career.

Speaking with Attitude magazine in 2018, Clarkson said: "I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cares because aesthetically you make sense."

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"I like wrecked my knees and my feet during those four years because all I would do is put in headphones and run."

"I was in the gym all the time. Before my show, and any time probably, because it was the one time no one was talking to me and it was the one time there was no bullshit going on."

"It was just me listening to music and checking out."

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In recent years, Clarkson has achieved remarkable success with her talk show, The Kelly Clarkson Show, and has garnered an impressive total of 13 Emmy Awards.

Yet, Clarkson has openly acknowledged that she wasn't entirely engaged or "fully present" during the show's production, due to issues in her personal life. 

The singer admitted she was feeling 'really unhappy' in the initial years of the show, while it was based in Los Angeles. 

The show has now moved to New York City for its fifth season, which premiered on October 16.

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Speaking to Daily Beast's Obsessed, Clarkson said: "It’s interesting: I did a really good job of smiling and showing up for work and compartmentalizing my personal life for a few years."

"Because I was really unhappy. It was really hard. I just was never fully present."

The TV host continued: "If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know that I was ever really fully present even from Season 1, because the struggle happens, obviously, before you end up getting divorced."

"There’s stuff happening before you make that announcement."

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Clarkson's marriage to Brandon Blackstock came to an end in 2020 following her filing for divorce.

The couple, who have two children in common, tied the knot in 2013. However, their divorce settlement was only reached in March 2022 after a tumultuous two-year period.

Now that The Kelly Clarkson Show is located in New York, Clarkson is prepared to genuinely wear a happy face once more. But this time, she won't be faking it.

"This will be the first season I’m fully present and not incredibly sad deep inside," she said.

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"That’s going to be new for me: showing up and actually meaning it when I smile."