Man Gets Wife Pregnant. Blames Cat.

Well, that's not something you hear every day.

This man took to Reddit to J'accuse his very own cat of getting his wife pregnant. If you think this has been phrased weirdly, so do we.

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OP said that he and his wife had gotten pregnant a year ago and after a difficult and complicated pregnancy decided it was time to take a break from having children.

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The two now had a two-month-old son who was doing well.

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Their plans to have any more children however had definitely come to a stop for a couple of years.

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OP's wife had started birth control but had to stop because of its many side effects. They decided to put their faith in good old reliable condoms instead.

Their cat was presumably rubbing their paws together and laughing maniacally in the background when it heard that.

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Kitty had a way of getting into things. No lock was immune to its legerdemain. 

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OP would often wake up to several doors open. We think this was to show who really was the boss around the house.

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Kitty's nefarious plans went beyond opening cabinet drawers. This time, their sights were set on a drawer.

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The very same drawer that OP had put their condoms in. When OP went to clean up the mess that kitty had made, they saw several teeth marks on things such as Q-tips, wrappers, plastics and you guessed it...condoms.

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OP still didn't add two and two together and went about their day. In fact, they simply replaced the contents of the drawer.

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When OP and his wife did the horizontal dance that night they ended up using the very same condoms.

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Cue positive pregnancy test. OP's wife used one of her leftover tests to check and found that she was indeed pregnant. 

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OP and his wife were befuddled by the situation until OP finally had a light bulb moment. Kitty's vile plans were finally revealed but it was too late. 

OP dumped out the contents of the box once again and saw the wrappers for himself confirming that they had indeed used a defective condom. 

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For OP, it was consolation enough that they now had a cute story to tell their future child. We'd suggest holding off on the coital details until they're older.

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Commenters breathed a sigh of relief that OP was not referring to a cat-human baby.

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Some gave OP practical tips about getting child locks.

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Ba-dum-tsss!

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