MTV's 'Next': The 30 Weirdest Contestants From The Dating Show's Best Episodes

On Next, hopeful singles went on rapid-fire blind dates with suitors waiting inside a branded RV, stepping out one by one to take their shot. If the spark was there, the date rolled on for a bit. If not, the lead shut it down with one command: "Next!"

Calling the show bizarre barely covers it. The most off-the-wall contestants from the best episodes remain some of the oddest characters to hit reality TV. Before stepping off the RV, each dater read three bullet points about themselves, and the choices were baffling. Michelle proudly shared that she "poops five times a day." Xavier announced that he once "pleasured himself using a pizza." And Bryan tried to impress by saying he "pushed an old lady off a bus." Long before dating apps, Next was cable TV’s unhinged version of swiping left in real time.

So, let’s dive into the most outrageous Next contestants. They are bold. They are confusing. They are offensive for no reason. And they could only exist during the show’s wildest runs. As you scroll, vote up the most entertaining trainwrecks to ever step off that RV.

Sean Went To A Strange DMV

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Instead of listing height and weight, Sean’s “metrosexual license” labeled him as a "player on the outside" and a "virgin on the inside." which tells you everything about the vibe he was going for.

Hunter The Underwear Marathoner

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Hunter claimed he hated dogs in outfits, yet his own ancient underwear seemed welded in place, which raised a very different concern.

Xavier 'American Pied' A Pizza

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When Xavier wasn’t rating farts with his extended family, he was proving he misunderstood what a meat lover’s pizza was supposed to be.

Brett Was An Outdoorsman

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Between refusing hand sanitizer and bragging about peeing outside, Brett found two creative ways to say, "Don't shake my hand."

Raj The Whopper Of Flop Sweat

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Raj showed up shirtless in a lei and admitted a crush on the Burger King mascot, which somehow fit the rest of his choices.

Stache Went By 'Stache' And That's All You Need To Know

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There may only be one mustached vegetarian Christian afraid of Muppets in history. Naturally, he went by Stache.

Matt Was Faithfully Sweaty

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Matt said he once had sex while on the phone with his pastor. If that turned your stomach, he wore a shirt that promised, "it's all good."

Bryan Maybe Committed A Murder

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Bryan bragged about pushing an elderly woman and struck a finger-gun pose that did not help his case at all.

Ashley Brought New Meaning To 'Ship It'

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To convince doubters, she once mailed her ex a box of poop. Ashley started pulling down her pants on the way to her date. It was… a choice.

Abraham Preferred A Coffee Date

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Abraham dropped one of the most confusing bullet points on the show. If a person "hates to eat," do they "love to starve?"

Liz Thought 'Roger and Me' Was A Rom-Com

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Some folks called Liz a “Sicko” for crushing on Michael Moore, but the heart and cable TV both work in mysterious ways.

Kyle Had A Case Of The Miley Cries

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With a popped-collar polo and an undying love for Hannah Montana, Kyle—nicknamed "Nugget,"—shed enough tears to be crowned Next royalty.

Brad Had A Specific Dating Claus

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Brad’s favorite holiday tune was "I Saw Bradley Kissing Misses Claus." which was somehow exactly on brand for him.

Keshia Forgot To Include A Single Redeeming Quality

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Most contestants had one wild bullet point. Keshia went three for three. There’s also a strong chance she microwaved too many "guacs"

Robert Needed To Check In To The Mayo Clinic

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Robert endorsed a warm mayo sandwich as a snack. Like Robert’s pitch, it failed the vibe check.

Johnny Had Hygiene Standards

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The medical term for bad breath is halitosis, but Johnny skipped the jargon and diagnosed it as "stank *ss."

Rachel Was An Adult Toddler

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Rachel could fall asleep anywhere and got cranky from constipation, making her the first 24-year-old on the show who also felt about two.

Katelyn Had A Foot Fetish

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Katelyn liked feet. Hers happened to be doll-sized, which only made the bullet point stranger.

Brad Was The Total Package

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Brad still lived with his parents, loved boobs, and once yelled slurs at a baseball legend. He called himself the “total package,” which was certainly one opinion.

Sam Had Urinary Wanderlust

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Sam paired a smug grin with a story about where he likes to pee, as if anyone had asked for that detail.

Brian Was Why People Say There Are Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

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Brian’s Little Mermaid fantasies always crashed when he pictured Ursula, the no-nonsense sea witch who did not suffer fools.

Michelle Was A Real Party Pooper

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Michelle’s card started strong with a bikini contest win. Then it veered into allergies and bowel schedules. Save the medical intake form for the doctor.

Kristan Was A Lone 'Wolfie'

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Kristan had no interest in the Mile High Club. He searched for love where baggage carousels and poor lighting meet.

Brad Bared It All

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Brad streaked at graduation and seemed to show up to Next with the same philosophy: clothes optional.

Zack Was A Real-Life 'American Pie' Character

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With spiky hair, a jacked build, and a face that screamed "Sup, broski?" Zack—also known as "Junior"—was almost too MTV for MTV.

Jeff Wore The Pants

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The "boyfriend jean" is a go-to style for women, but Jeff championed the overlooked "girlfriend jean." like a true pioneer.

Aimee Feared The Mirror

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Aimee wanted to prove she was the world’s best kisser, but aiming that at Lance Bass was a plan with obvious problems.

Rachel Pulled A Tyler Durden

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Rachel watched Fight Club and saw Edward Norton beat himself up for a payout, then thought, "That's not psychotic at all!"

Shannon Feared The Afterlife

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Shannon’s greatest worry about judgment day was hearing one brutal word: "Next!"

Staci Was A Real Firestarter

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Staci’s fun fact said she "lit her house on fire when she was six." which made the missing word "accidentally" stand out like a siren.