Parents Who Are Proud Of Their Epic Fails. 16 Parents Share Their Most Epic Fails

#1 “My daughter’s first word was ‘shit.’”

#2 “I didn’t notice that my son had been dropping coins into the back of our television (this was before flatscreens) until it burst into flames.”

#3 “I left the door open when I had sex.”

#4 . “I made my daughter howl in terror.”

"I tried to swat a tree frog off our door one night. Instead of jumping in the direction I swatted it, the frog jumped toward us, landing on my 2-year-old daughter's face."

#5 “When my son was 4 I was helping him brush his teeth when he started screaming that it tasted funny. I’d mixed up the toothpaste and diaper rash cream!”

#6 “Harmless, right?”

"My toddler pulled the cushions off the couch, unzipped the fabric, and was sitting INSIDE the cushions. Harmless, right? Photo op! After I took a few pictures I realized she wasn't wearing a diaper and had pooped in my cushion."

#7 “I sent my first grader to school dressed up in full pirate costume. Turns out Pirate Day wasn’t until Thursday.”

#8 “My kid licked the ass of my jeans.”

"I sat in some cake frosting today. After I wiped most of it off my 2-year-old daughter creeped up behind me and licked the rest off the ass of my jeans."

#9 “I left the Vaseline in the room overnight and woke up to a toddler covered in it from head to toe.

#10 “The zipper on my daughter’s winter coat got caught. In trying to free her, my husband’s hand slipped and he ended up punching her in the mouth and split her lip.”

#11 “I made the mistake of taking a shower.”

"My 2- and 4-year-old kids were playing nicely in the playroom when I made the mistake of taking a shower. When I got out I heard strange voices coming from downstairs, so I quickly got dressed to see what was going on. In the short time I was in the shower my kids decided to visit the park next to our house with our dog. My neighbors realized my kids were alone and brought them home with the dog."

#12 “I walked into my 2-year-old’s bedroom as he triumphantly shouted, ‘MUM STICKERS!’ His bedroom walls were covered in (unused) sanitary pads.”

#13 “I accidentally made my 2-year-old throw up while trying to help her brush her teeth.”

#14 “My daughter used condoms as toys.”

"My mother-in-law was babysitting my daughter one night so my husband and I could go out on a date. When we returned home she very sheepishly handed over two dozen condoms and told us that our daughter kept bringing them to her and saying they were ‘moneys' to pay for things."

#15 “During a middle-of-the-night feeding/changing session, I buttoned up the onesie, then put on the diaper. Needless to say, the onesie was drenched and filled just hours later.”

#16 “My 6-month-old son knocked over my Dr Pepper and I didn’t notice until I heard him slurping it off the floor.”