Sarcastic Coronavirus Tweets That Prove Britishers Have Not Lost Their Spark Amidst The Panic And Chaos

Nothing in the history of disappointment compares with our 7-yr old realising she’s the daughter of key workers

— Mike Hunter (@DrMikePsych) March 18, 2020

Absolutely heartwarming, after a week of social distancing, I went out on my balcony last night, and not a single person in my entire estate was acknowledging the presence of any other human being. No-one even tried to start a singalong. The spirit of London prevails ♥️♥️♥️

— hern (@alexhern) March 20, 2020

was feeling nervous but I just got a covid-19 update from Halfords and I'm a bit more reassured

— joe (@mutablejoe) March 19, 2020

Ordered Amazon Delivery and selected “replace item” with the closest thing they can find if they run out of stock...

We ordered tampons.

And they sent the closest appropriate thing.

Which right now, is a bag of 50 frozen sausage rolls.

— Definitely not “Sausage Roll Girl” (@ClareBarry) March 18, 2020

very apparent now that the best thing about meeting up with people in person was not having to look at your own face while you did it

— Imogen West-Knights (@ImogenWK) March 20, 2020

I’ve either finally tipped over the edge or I just heard a fucking ice cream van.

No one wants a Mr Whippy, Darren. Read the fucking room.

— ?️‍? Max ?️‍? (@SpillerOfTea) March 20, 2020

Nick Ferrari: "they kept the theatres open during the blitz, but not during this"

You couldn't CATCH THE BLITZ you roaster

— SheRa Remains Indoors (@SheRa_Marley) March 17, 2020

Could criminal sanctions be brought in for people who don't follow instructions on self-quarantining, Boris Johnson is asked.

"We are a mature, grown up, liberal democracy," he says.

On Sunday, in Costco, Lakeside, someone bought 5 separate 96 packs of toilet paper.

— Tom Peck (@tompeck) March 16, 2020

Anyone "evacuating" London rn should know that the proper process is to write a think piece in the Guardian prior to your departure, and then launch a gardening blog. Pretenders, the lot of you.

— Rachael Krishna (@RachaelKrishna) March 20, 2020

me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck

— lydia ? (@lydiakahill) March 19, 2020

I know this time of self isolation is hard and scary for people but however bad you are feeling- please, please don’t consider starting your own podcast

Straight men under the age of 35 are particularly vulnerable to this and we all need to be vigilant of the dangers x

— Nicola Coughlan (@nicolacoughlan) March 16, 2020

Me returning to the family home after months away to begin a coronavirus lockdown pic.twitter.com/fpAMUXfQLh

— Charlie Peters (@CDP1882) March 18, 2020

Our 5 year old seems to have deemed himself the local virus warden.

Over the fence to our neighbour:

‘JEAN YOU NEED TO GO INSIDE’
‘Okay I will in a minute’
‘YOU’RE OLD AND THERE’S A VIRUS’
‘I’m not that old thank you’
‘HOW OLD ARE YOU JEAN?’
‘I’m 68.’
‘THAT IS NEARLY 70 JEAN.’

— Adam Bedford (@adambedders) March 19, 2020

Feel like pure shit, just want austerity back x pic.twitter.com/hbBQZ1WgbS

— . (@twlldun) March 20, 2020

My co-worker just got angry at some plastic toast and is now asleep. I think he's shat himself too. :( https://t.co/pHTuTY8I9B

— cluedont (@cluedont) March 19, 2020

just absolutely furious beyond belief at everyone who has a dog

— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) March 20, 2020

What if this is what finally stops the DFS sale?

— Ian Ford (@ij_ford) March 18, 2020