We all know that adoption can be a painful and intrusive process. Now, imagine being a single gay man going through this process. We cannot imagine the hoops this man had to jump through, but we sure are happy that he did. This many has not only adopted four children, but all four of these children are disabled.
Many people are calling this man a Saint, but the only title this guy is proud to have is "Dad." Check out his story and his brood.
Back in 2010, this single gay man adopted his eldest son Jack. Jack is a loving young man who has autism and OCD. Since adopting Jack, he has gone on to adopt three other children with disabilities and provides them with their much needed around the clock care.
Ben says that while other kids fantasized about becoming firemen and lawyers, he always just wanted to be a parent. It took him three years to convince the powers that be that he not only had the maturity, but he also had the skills to be a good dad and went on to be the youngest gay man to ever adopt a child in his country.
This video will give you some insight on just how hard it is not just for a gay person or a gay couple but for any person trying to adopt a child.
So, there is Jack who has autism and OCD related with autism which makes him very routine focused. This is hard enough to handle for a family with just one child, but Ben handles it like a pro along with three other children.
Six year old Ruby is severely impaired and has mobility issues along with physical disabilities and other difficulties.
Lilly is five years old and is Ruby's biological half sister. She is deaf along with being severely impaired. The entire family has learned BSL (British Sign Language) so that they can all effectively communicate with her.
The youngest and most recent addition to their family is Joseph who is two years old and has Down's Syndrome and a ton of complex needs associated with it. He has a colostomy bag and requires around the clock care to change it regularly.
There are a ton of hurdles to jump through when going through the adoption process, but being a gay man makes it just that much harder. There is a prejudice and uneducated view that in some way a gay parent will "turn the kids gay" or not provide properly for the children's needs because of their gayness.
Ben has heard his fair share of passing comments, but he says he can handle it. He often finds himself correcting ignorant comments about his ability to parent, and he says about 70% of the time, the people he educates see that he is making sense in his arguments. He also says he is so proud to see how the views on the LGBT community is changing and continues to change for the positive over the last few years.
We think it is pretty awesome that the UK system is moving out of the old views against gays being parents.
Ben says he is thinking about adopting a fifth child if it is fated to be. "Who knows what the future holds?"
As of March 2016, there were over 70,000 children, with the majority over the age of ten, as wards to the state and in need of adoption. More than 70% of those children are "hard to place" cases. People like Ben give hope to those waiting children and bring awareness to the needs of these children. We wish him all the best!
