The 12 Emotional Stages Of Being A Millennial In The Workforce At A Start Up
#1 ENTERTAINED
Those lucky enough to score a seat on the roof are serenaded by a little-known (but OMG are they incredible or what?!) indie band. You send a text to your roommate. "I think it's finally time we start that band, girl. You game?"
#2 ALERT
Meeting time! You know it's meeting time because, without uttering a word, several people rise, close their laptops, and move in the general direction of a large conference room. You check your calendar (on your smartphone) and realize that there is, in fact, a meeting.
#3 TIRED
Phew, you did it. But now you're exhausted. You head to the nap room and take a quick 20.
#4 CONNECTED
On your way back to your desk, you pass Rupert, the office dog. After getting on your hands and knees and taking a few selfies with them (Rupert is gender-nonconforming) you look into their eyes and say, "I feel connected to you. And I'm glad you're here. And, even though it doesn't exactly make you look AMAZING, would you mind if I bumped the contrast on this pic?"
#5 HUNGRY
You stop by the breakfast bar and whip up a parfait and a cup of iced coffee. And bonus! someone has baked a legit seven-layer cake, just for fun. Never too early for sweets, amirite?
#6 HAPPY
At happy hour, you look around and realize how lucky you are. You love your co-workers, you love your job, and you love the fact that you're in the midst of an innovative, risk-taking, cutting-edge open bar.
#7 CONTRIBUTIVE
In the meeting, you make sure to employ several startup buzzwords, such as "incubator," "disruptive," "iterate," and "froyo
#8 COMPETITIVE
It's lunchtime. You search for the quickest line and immediately form a strategy to get the most food in the shortest amount of time. You've already staked your table on the roof deck: Early this morning, you gingerly laid your jacket on a chair there.
#9 INSPIRED
At a company-wide meeting, the office is informed that, in an effort to inspire greater work ethic, everyone will be treated to a vacation to a European city of their choice. It's mandatory! You must do it! Wow, you think. Wow.
#10 HORRIFIED
After the super-exciting meeting, you look at your to-do list and notice several very important bullets. You have real work to do today! (No, but, seriously, actual work. Work that isn't fun. Like, you have to do it. And you only have two hours.)
#11 FOCUSED
Ready to start the day, you open your laptop and proceed to chat with a few co-workers. You also chat with other friends and relations who work at other startups.
#12 PROUD
You roll in at 10 a.m. and think, Man, I'm early! You pat yourself on the back (with the back scratcher you received in your First Day Goodie Bag, emblazoned with your company's logo) and dust off your shoulders.
