The 20 Distressing Stages Of Getting A Nail Salon Manicure
#1
While your nails are being filed away, obviously in the opposite way you asked them to be, you get asked, "You need an eyebrow wax?"
#2
You go out on a limb before the first coat of paint and try to show your manicurist a photo of what you want your nails to look like.
#3
You stand in front of the wall of colors as if you've never made a decision for yourself before now.
#4
You sit to wait your turn while clarifying and justifying the type of service you want several times.
#5
As you get up to go dry you fumble with your things until your manicurist helps you out.
#6
Finally you get to sit and are immediately bombarded with a number of uncomfortable questions.
#7
Now, not only are your nails not dry at all, you also have to pee.
#8
Until you wake up the next morning and it looks like a squirrel was gnawing at your polish all night.
#9
Once your nails start getting painted you immediately think, "Is that what this color looks like out of the bottle?!" because you hate everything about it.
#10
First, you walk into the nail salon, probably without an appointment.
#11
You are finally ready to leave the salon, and play the can-I-get-my-keys-without-smudging-my-nails game on the way out.
#12
Also, "Oh no, why did you bite your cuticles?"
#13
You accept that the manicure is imperfect, because honestly, from far away it looks okay.
#14
Then after the second coat you realize that it's actually nice and the anxiety attack subsides.
#15
If you're with your mom, you endure the ever-hilarious and totally over-done, "is this your sister?! You are both so pretty," bit.
#16
You sit and dry for what feels like forever and think about all of the life that is passing you by.
#17
You are showered with a million goodbyes from everyone in the salon.
#18
You pay for your manicure right before the painting starts, and do the awkward how-much-do-I-tip calculation in your head.
#19
You get all the way home only to realize that one of your nails is already smudged.
#20
And, "Round or square?" Even though you know that the manicurist is going to do whatever the heck he or she pleases.
