The Most Hilarious Things People Could Say Before Dying

#1 educated_guesst

I'm studying to be a pilot in school and my professor told us that if he was ever crashing and he knew he couldn't recover and would die, he'd say over the radios, "Look at the size of those tentacles!" And the FAA and NTSB would be so confused.

#2 farside604

"Either this wallpaper goes, or I do." -Oscar Wilde

#3 MsTentacleTherapist

I'm pretty sure my grandfather's dying words were the funniest I've heard. He said "Nä, nu skiter jag i det här", which roughly translates to "Eh, I can't be bothered anymore".

#4 PutSomeWardsDown

"Tell the governor that he has lost my vote" Some guy that was sentenced to death.

#5 Nutandbut

Henrik Ibsen's made me laugh.

Nurse: "Well you seem to being doing better today"

Ibsen: "On the contrary"

He then died.

#6 elizabethan

These weren't my grandmother's last words, but while she was in the hospital before she died she was sleeping, and her breath got slow, and it looked like it would be the end. Then she woke up and said "Oh, I thought I was dying."

#7 eaturliver

"Hey. You guys wanna see a dead body?"

#8 A1ex112

"This water isn't deep enough for sharks." -he said before being eaten by a crocodile.

#9 Unknown

I thought the last words of the murderer James French before he went to the electric chair were pretty amusing: "How's this for your headline? ‘French Fries'".

#10 Ether165

I'm kind of partial to actual last words in history. I read one once where a commander was standing too close to a battle and someone advised him to back away, the commander said

"They couldn't hit an elephant from this distance." Then he got shot.

#11 Good4MeNotGood4U

I work in the Humanitarian Relief sector and this topic came up about when some friends were talking about the recent beheadings by ISIS.

The idea that while you were blindfolded in the desert turn to the camera and say (something like): "Is this an elaborate febreeze commercial?"

#12 napoLeondynomyt

"You win again, gravity."

#13 Unknown

"I left $50,000 in the-" [dies]

#14 lordkane1

Holding your loved ones hand; "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier, just head to random coordinates".

Have generations of people searching for nothing.

#15 squashedmoth

As the priest performs the last rites and says "Do you reject satan and his ways?" Respond with "It's too late in life to make enemies."

#16 EireOfTheNorth

My grandad was on his last legs, his family surrounded him. Aunt said to him through heavy sobs "It's okay, you can go now dad."

Grandad mustered up the strength to say "I'm not gone yet!"

and those were the last words of my grandfather.

#17 LordFlufferNutter

When my grandfather knew he was dying he wanted his last words to be "Beam me up Scotty!" as he was a big Star Trek fan. What he actually got out was "Man George Bush is a [jerk]". Buuuuuut we used the former in his eulogy.

#18 ABQCY

"Go to my computer and delete my browser history"

#19 ThatGuyFromOhio

"These are my last words. No, these are my last words. [Now], these are my last words"

#20 meatmacho

When we were kids having sleepovers, I had one friend who would insist upon ending every night's bedtime conversation with the word "[butt]" just as he drifted off to sleep, so that it would be his last word if he didn't wake up.

Years later, I often carry on the tradition, especially if I'm somewhere new or shady or just want people to know that my last word was "[butt]".

#21 Lexgrub

My aunt was dying of cancer, as everyone gathered around her at her home while she was about to pass, the family gathered around with glasses of wine. Someone asked if they should give her one and she said "What is it going to do? Kill me?" Man, she was the freaking best.

#22 Colorcoma

"Told ya I was sick"

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