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These Sure Are Not Your Granny's Cross Stitch Patterns

By Missy aka Tizzy in Funny On 22nd April 2018

Cross stitch is something we usually think of our mothers or grandmothers doing. Usually, you will see pretty floral patterns or quirky little sayings done up and hung on the wall or made into pillow covers. However, these particular cross stitch patterns are a bit on the racy side to think that dear old granny might have done them.

Please Don't

These folks must really have a problem in their home if this needs to be displayed in the bathroom. I am not sure how much of a deterrent this will be, though.

Pigeons

If pigeons had houses, we have no doubt that they will have one of these displayed proudly in their home. It really does seem like they purposely shit on everything we love, especially a freshly washed car.

Punny

This one is cute and punny. We could almost imagine someone's granny actually making this one. Granny's have a special way of cussing without actually using cuss words.

Best Quote, Ever!

Leave it to Joss Whedon to give us one of the most relateable quotes of our lifetime. If you suck, you should totally try to be someone else. How else will you get friends?

Tired Mommy

We are guessing that this one was made by an exhausted mom who just wants her baby to get some sleep in peace. However, anyone with a baby could relate to this.

Scary

What really makes this scary is not the fact that the maker has the patience to stab something a thousand times, it is the fact that they probably have the patience to properly dispose of the body as well. I would take great care around the person who made this.

DMX

We are pretty sure that granny is not a DMX fan unless she is a super young granny. In another generation, if cross stitching is still a thing, we might see more grannies making things like this.

That's Nice

Going to the loo to do a number two is not always a pleasant experience. It was really kind of this cross-stitcher to try to make things as pleasant as possible for those using her bathroom.

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