Things In Jaden And Willow's Lives That Are Completely Senseless

By Sumaiya Ghani in Entertainment On 13th October 2015

#1 JADEN'S OUTFITS

Jaden Smith's father, Will Smith, is rolling in dough. That said, Jaden himself is worth a few million or so, so it stands to reason that Jaden would be wearing the kind of clothing that the average person just can't afford, like Armani, Prada, or Dolce & Gabbana. But Jaden takes it to a level all his own. He has worn mismatched sneakers, kimonos, dresses, and a tye-dye bucket hat. But the strangest things that he's worn are the costumes. He's dressed up as not one, but two superheroes. One time, he dressed up in an Iron Man costume, and it wasn't even Halloween. It wasn't for any kind of special event. He just decided to go out like that with friends one day. Another time, he dressed up as Batman. This time, it was for a special event. The only problem is that the special event was a weddingKim Kardashian's wedding to Kanye West, to be exact. And to top it off, the Batman costume was white. Dude, only the bride is supposed to wear a white Batman costume to a wedding.

#2 THEIR PARENTS DON'T SEEM TO CARE WHAT THEY DO

Will and Jada seem to take a laissez-faire approach to parenting. You'd think, since they're millionaires, they'd spare no expense to see that their children are raised properly, but it doesn't look like that's the case. With Jaden's fashion sense, his parents might want to sit him down and talk to him about his interesting choicesbut they don't. And then there's Willow, and that picture she took of herself in bed with Moses Arias, who was 20 at the time, while Willow was only 13. While there's no evidence that anything sexual happened between the two, the picture is plenty suggestive, a quality which Jada Pinkett Smith denied. It's great that Will and Jada want their children to be independent. Will has said that all Jaden and Willow have to do is "explain to me why that was the right thing to do for [their lives]," but teenagers aren't too good at making decisions and are less capable at explaining things. They need someone to to guide them along the way, not leave them to run around and bump into a lot of sharp corners.

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#3 WILLOW'S CONTINUED RECORDING CAREER

With her dad once being the Fresh Prince, it makes sense that Willow would have some kind of recording contract to release one song or album. However, Willow has released six singles, one EP, and as of this writing, she has a full-length album in the works. But here's the thing: her music doesn't chart. Her instantly-annoying earworm "Whip My Hair" reached number 11 on the charts, and number 5 on the R&B charts. Her next song went as high as number 99, and then that's it. Nothing else went any higher than that. It costs a lot of money and takes a lot of time to record one song. You'd think the recording company would want to cut their losses at some point, no matter who her father is. The CEO of her label must be whipping his head back and forth over the money he lost.

#4 JADEN'S CONTINUED ACTING CAREER

Like with his sister's music career, it makes sense that Jaden Smith has landed a few acting roles. His dad is a guaranteed box-office draw, so he has more or less earned the right to get a few roles for his son. It doesn't hurt that this started when Jaden was about eight years old and was kind of a cute kid. But Jaden's cute-kid years are far behind him now. He made an attempt at a grown-up role with 2013's After Earth, but the movie bombed. Sure, it doesn't help that it was an M. Night Shyamalan flick, whose track record has been in a downward spiral since 2004's The Village, but Shyamalan shouldn't take all the blame for After Earth. Jaden's performance in the movie won two Golden Raspberries, one for worst actor and another for worst screen combo, which he shared with his father. With accolades like that, it's surprising that he has a few more roles in various stages of production. But apparently that's the power of nepotism. We have to wonder if Will Smith has ever made Jaden explain why making bad movies is a "right thing to do" for his life.

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#5 JADEN REACHING OUT TO SHIA LABEOUF

This is probably the one worthwhile thing that Jaden Smith has ever done. Smith was the one person to support Shia LaBeouf when the Transformers star launched his #IAMSORRY exhibit in an attempt to make up for his plagiarism, bizarre outbursts, and general craziness. To express his support, Smith sent out a series of tweets, such as "I'm Here If You Need A Fellow Insane Person To Talk To. But I'm Seriously Here Not Like One Of Those I'm Here For You's That Everybody Says," and "It Was A Message That Only Could Be Understood Artist To Artist. @thecampaignbook I'm Here For You I Believe In What Your [sic] Doing." While a nice gesture, it's strange that Smith picked LaBeouf of all people to reach out to. Does he think he can help LaBeouf in some way? Or maybe he sees something of himself in LaBeouf, which is a little concerning. As far as we know, LaBeouf didn't take up Smith on the offer, which is probably the smartest decision LaBeouf has ever made.

#6 WILLOW FANCIES HERSELF A NOVELIST

In one of the most bizarre interviews in human history, in The New York Times' T Magazine, both Jaden and Willow Smith claim to be readers. What's more surprising is the kinds of things they claim to read. According to the article, the books and subjects they allegedly enjoy are Osho (an Indian mystic), quantum physics, and ancient texts. But when the two talk about how they make their music, Willow felt it necessary to mention that she writes her own novels. In her own words, "There're no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it's the best thing." And apparently, she's been doing this since she was six. We have to admit, we're kind of curious to see what these novels of hers could possibly be about. Look out E. L. James, you've got a contender for world's worst novelist coming up behind you.

#7 THEY BOTH FANCY THEMSELVES PHILOSOPHERS AND ADVICE GIVERS

In the same interview with The New York Times' T Magazine, Jaden and Willow said lots of other strange things. But overall, it seems that the two see themselves as the Sartres, Descartes, or Wittgensteins of their time. Jaden waxes philosophical about the nature of happiness and apples, by saying, "When you're thinking about something happy, you're thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple." Is that supposed to mean we're thinking about oranges or bananas? No slouch herself, Willow upholds her fair share of the strangeness by saying, "Breathing is meditation; life is a meditation. You have to breathe in order to live, so breathing is how you get in touch with the sacred space of your heart." Willow, maybe you should worry more about getting in touch with that empty space between your ears. Zing!

#8 WILLOW BELIEVES SHE'S A TIME TRAVELER

So, to clarify, it's not that Willow believes she can travel through time. It's that Willow doesn't believe that time exists at all. In her own words, she said, "I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that's how I know it doesn't exist." Okay, for argument's sake, sure. Time is a human construct that allows us to keep measure of what we do with our lives, and it does move faster or slower in relation to what a person experiences. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. More likely, Willow's probably just trying to come up with an excuse for why she shows up late so often.

#9 JADEN IS THE WORSE OF THE TWO

For some reason, whether any of us want it or not, Jaden has taken it upon himself to provide useful advice to the public at large. Probably his most famous piece of advice comes in the form of a YouTube video in which he likens life to a set of stairs. He begins by saying, "Think of life as stairs and they're all dark." He continues this nugget of wisdom with, "Once you take that step in the dark and you find a stair, it lights up." We won't torture you with all the details, so we'll skip ahead. He brings Drake into this metaphor, and it all ends with Jaden saying that he's not interested in the stair. He's only interested in "going higher!" Is this Jaden's way of justifying riding his father's coattails all his life, or is this a veiled, overblown admission of drug use? Because he definitely doesn't need to make a veiled admission...he definitely sounds like he's on drugs.

#10 THEIR OBSESSION WITH ORGONITE CRYSTALS

Jaden and Willow Smith are alleged to have joined something called the Orgonite Society, which could be either a secret society or cult, founded for the purpose of balancing Gaia's energies. Whatever that means. For a secret society, they're not doing too good of a job keeping it a secret. They post pictures of group meetings on Instagram, which look like nothing more than a bunch of teens playing with rocks and crystals. Had this been any other teenage duo, it would have been played off as harmless funjust a bunch of nerds and their rock collections.

#11 THEIR CONCEPT OF THE WORD PRANA

In their T Magazine interview, at one point, "prana" comes into the conversation. Jaden and Willow say things like, "It's prana energy because they still breathe through their stomach. They remember. Babies remember." For those of you who don't know, "prana" is a Sanskrit word meaning "life force" or could refer to an energy that permeates the universe, and is part of Hindu philosophy. It's analogous to chi. Now, Jaden and Willow could have picked up this word from their supposed spiritual readingswhich could be evidence that they actually do read. However, have you ever met someone who uses a fancy word to try to sound deep or intelligent, but they still give the impression that they don't know what the word means? That's the impression these two give when they talk about prana. Of course, that shouldn't be too surprising considering Jaden Smith's stance on education...

#12 JADEN'S ANTI-EDUCATION STANCE

Like most teenagers, Jaden Smith does not like school. It's one of the few normal things about him. But he has gone on record saying things like, "You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver's ed? What's up?," and "School is not authentic because it ends. It's not true, it's not real." Well, maybe Jaden hasn't learned anything from school, but we certainly picked up a thing or two, like how to spot an idiot teenager at less than fifty paces and how to detect a load of BS when we hear it.

#13 WE NEVER HEAR ABOUT THEIR BROTHER

Before Will Smith married Jada Pinkett, he was married to Sheree Zampino, with whom he had his first son, Willard Carroll "Trey" Smith III. The place you're most likely seen him is with his father in the music video for "Just the Two of Us," which is about Smith's relationship with Trey. But Trey is barely a blip on the radar anymore. He does appear in family pictures from time to time, and he's been seen palling around with Jaden. From what we've been able to piece together, he's fairly normal, despite the fact that he's a DJ. According to an Australian news site, he was a star football player in high school and earned an athletic scholarship for college, which he turned down to pursue a music career. Maybe that's why we never hear about him. He's too damn normal to actually fit in with the rest of the Smiths. That makes him the oddball of the family.

#14 THEIR GOALS IN LIFE

While it's nice to see that the Smith kids have goals of their own and don't want to just ride their father's fame all their lives, it's a little difficult to determine just what those goals actually are. Willow has said that "by the time we're 30 or 20, we're going to be climbing as many mountains as we can possibly climb." Obviously, she's not talking about actual mountains, though it'd be fun to see them try. She's talking about pursuits like acting and making music. But they're just not good at any of it and don't realize it. It shows just how out of touch she is. She talks about these figurative mountains as though they'll be huge accomplishments for her and her brother, when they're not. If her father wasn't famous, we wouldn't know what her name is, and she wouldn't be able to pursue any of it. Now by contrast, Jaden's goal is not so unattainable. He's said that his life's goal is to "be just the most craziest person of all time." From what we've seen of him so far, he's definitely a contender for that title.