Things That Only People Who Hate Physical Contact Will Understand

Do you hate physical contact?

Chances are you either have those friends who hate being touched or maybe you are that friend. Ask that friend or yourself and you’d not deny that the struggles are real. Either way, you have most likely experienced some form of hatred towards physical contact whether you understand it or not. There may or may not be any rhyme or reason to explain why someone hates being touched, but rest assured it is not easy being someone who will avoid close contact with another person at all costs.

Here is an inside look at the struggles, trials, and tribulations of people who hate physical contact.

#1 Greetings are a battlefield.

How about we settle for a friendly wave? Or a handshake, if you’re feeling friendly? Oh, nope. You’re going in for a hug. I hate you.

#2 Public transportation is hell on earth.

Ah. Getting cozy with the armpits of people you’ve never met before. Fun.

#3 Social gatherings are a pure nightmare.

Another one to the list of struggles. Whether it’s hanging out with friends or at a family party, it seems that without fail everyone finds it necessary to hug everyone when they arrive and before they leave. Personally, they think one hug is more than enough…for the year, but who hate physical contact don’t agree. By the end of the party they feel lucky if you can make it out without someone attacking them with one of those hug/kiss on the cheek combos.

#4 Hugs are the worst invention of humankind.

What madman decided that pressing your body against another human’s body is an appropriate way to say hello? Our pubic bones are touching. This is so wrong.

#5 You’re genuinely a bit scared of sharing sad news about your life.

Just in case you end up attracting a comforting hug. Don’t.

#6 You were incredibly happy when you became old enough to give handshakes.

For some reason, sticking out your hand in greeting at age eight just made people laugh. It’s not funny, it’s a great way to avoid full body embraces.

#7 Don’t fucking tickle me.

Unless you want me to break your thumbs? No? Well, you have been warned. Stay the hell away from me!

#8 When someone is in your personal space.

We could be best friends, we could be complete strangers. We could be lovers, I could hate your guts. We could be in private, we could be in public. I don't care what the situation is if you're in my personal space uninvited GET OUT. There is no reason to be so close to me unwarranted.

#9 You have no understanding of people who call themselves ‘huggers.’

What are you doing? Get the hell off of me you hugging weirdo.

#10 When you arrive at a social gathering and people rush to greet you with hugs.

Let's not and say we did. Or you know, just forget about it altogether.

#11 You’ve often had to awkwardly explain your specific physical contact guidelines.

‘Look, I don’t usually hug people until the 6th time I’ve hung out with them, and then I’d prefer if we kept it to a 3 second time limit.’

#12 When relatives won't stop ruffling your hair.

Yes, I’m adorable. Please stop touching me.

#13 When people say you "look like you could use a hug"

Um no. I never could use one, get off of me. I will let you know when I want one.

#14 Close-talkers are a disgrace to humanity.

You’re not actually touching me, but you’re close enough that it FEELS like you are. Please back off and go live in a box.

#15 People are genuinely surprised that you don’t hate them.

Just because I reject all your hugs doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate you as a person. You’re great. I just don’t want your hands on me. No offense.

#16 When you’re unlucky enough to land yourself in a hug, your body turns into a stiff, awkward board.

It’s just uncomfortable for everyone involved, really. Can we stop?

#17

As if simply saying "Hey" followed by my name wasn't enough. I don't need your grubby little fingers touching me. Now I'm annoyed with you before this conversation even started, what do you want?

#18 Your significant other is shocked when you’re occasionally affectionate.

Look, we’re not opposed to ALL physical contact. We just need months to build up trust and comfort. Then we can get saucy with a nice hand-hold. Okay, that’s enough.

#19 Dating is tricky.

Because rejecting hand-holding, hugging, and the first kiss can feel like a bit of a snub. It’s not, we promise.

#20 Being stuck in crowded places.

Whether its public transportation, a crowded lecture hall, or the mall on Black Friday, crowded places are a nightmare and filled with struggles for people who hate physical contact. It’s bad enough having to squish their bodies up against someone they know when they are forced into giving a hug, but having to be pressed up against strangers could not be any worse. Most wouldn’t go as far as saying that they are claustrophobic, rather to them the idea of having to share a tiny space with people they don’t know is not very desirable.

#21 People tend to think you’re closed off and a bit mean.

We’re opposed to touching, not being nice people. WE CAN BE GOOD FRIENDS, TOO. We just get cozy with words and listening, rather than any skin to skin stuff. People who aren’t great with physical contact can be really lovely, promise. Just don’t touch us, ‘kay?