There are so many things that drive us crazy. A combination of all these things will make a woman fall for you, hard. Men are complicated creatures; let’s just say they find it hard to understand us. No matter how many clues we leave for them they will always be clueless! Let me write down a few points for you men to follow, they will work wonders for your relationship.
Here are the things that make us go crazy!
When a man plans, it’s almost as exciting as him proposing. Whether he organizes a date, a weekend trip, an afternoon walk — really, anything — we’re happy. It shows us that you’re capable of putting effort into us and you like it. Actually, you really, really like it.
We hate having to rely on anyone but ourselves but, sometimes it's just easier to ask him to take care of it. We beg forgiveness for the gross generalizations that are about to follow, but we always ask him to carry heavy objects up the stairs (that's mainly because of laziness; we're perfectly capable), hang pictures and kill large, scary bugs. Though after that time he pretended to throw that bug carcass at us and we screamed like a 5-year-old girl, we might not ask him again.
That bloody-minded stubbornness, that determined independence – it's actually really sexy. We admire your Sinatra-esque resolution to find your own way. No map is going to tell you how to get to the mall! We like your masculine decisiveness. We like the fact that a man doesn't need to try on six shirts and show each of them to us to decide which one he wants. (Yes, if we were on the other side of that, it would drive us crazy too).
A man who constantly needs reassurance or validation from the woman he is dating will likely not find what he needs if he pursues a woman who is strong and independent. She will be secure and confident in herself and want the man she is with to be the same. While she will likely show him love and affection because she cares for him and wants him to feel loved – she will not constantly be reminding him of how much she needs him in her life. Because she doesn’t.
A strong man will not expect to be needed by a woman of this caliber, but it is important to note that men still want to feel wanted, and we all still need to love and affection to feel valued in a relationship, so this cannot be overlooked.
The men in my life have been the strongest pillars of my support system. I am not being a sexist here, not implying at all that women can't do that. But I think the men need to be appreciated for all their efforts.
This doesn’t mean just knowing how to speak and express his feelings but also knowing how to listen and interpret hers. Not all women are verbally open or affectionate, but they will show you how they feel in their own ways. It is important for a man to be able to hear what the woman in his life doesn't say, as well as what she does.
Showing a woman that you’re a great listener is oh, so incredible. Remembering things that we mentioned we like is so cool. Whether it flowers, a book, chocolates or jewelry, if you surprise us with it, we feel really special!
When a guy cries in front of you, it can feel as if you've won the emotional lottery. Tears are a sign of extreme intimacy, and the fact that he's let down his guard probably means that he cares about you deeply and trusts you. We also love it when we catch our man staring at us with what can only be described as "tenderness." And when he pulls us close for a quick hug, or kisses the top of our heads, our hearts just melt.
There you go again, trying to have sex with us when we're barely awake and have morning breath. The truth is, even if we're not up for it, it's nice to know you still are. What woman doesn't love flattery? There's a magical math that happens in a woman's mind when her man makes his move: "He thinks I'm sexy, so I feel sexy, which reminds me -- he's sexy too!" Bottom line: horny guys are awesome. Also, most guys are porn-curious. So are lots of women, but we feel a bit awkward bringing it up. So, um, thank you for introducing us to Hot Nurses Go Wild.
Despite the hard outer shell some strong women display, they are still human beings who experience every emotion. Nobody wants to be stern or serious all the time, particularly those with high-pressure jobs or a stressful lifestyle. A man who can lighten the mood at just the right times will not only be a great lover but a great best friend.
Finding a balance that allows a relationship to flourish when two strong independent people come together is tricky. Men need to understand that they can be with a woman who lives her own life and not sacrifice any of his own masculinity. And women need to understand that being strong and independent does not have to mean being overbearing or abrasive. Men and women are both equally worthy of respect without needing to prove their dominance over each other.
If a couple is going to have one teammate who has big plans for their own future, it’s going to need two teammates who have big plans. For both men and women, being with someone who is much less motivated in life than you are is going to cause tension in the relationship. One will not understand why the other works so hard. He or she will not understand why their partner is up at 5:00 in the morning to go to the gym. He or she will get aggravated when you have to put in extra hours on that Friday night.
A man who will be comfortable with a woman who is driven and ambitious will need to be on a similar path for himself in order to understand and appreciate her hustle.
Women who are focused on their own mission and path in life are not taking time out of their day to look for validation from others. They are living in the moment and are too busy to bother caring what other people are thinking.
A man who is going to date this type of woman has to work with her on what is kept between the two of them and what is exposed to the public. In the social media generation, privacy is hard to come by – but for a relationship with a mature, independent woman to work in the long run, it still has to be made a priority.
It’s extraordinary when a man can openly and honestly talk about his feelings with you. When he’s comfortable doing so, it’s great. It’s so great it’s like winning the emotional lottery.
When a man can make it happen for you, how elated are you? It’s so exciting it’s almost like winning a tournament. A man who wants to pleasure you, so you really enjoy yourself, well, now that’s how I define a good man. He gets an extra applause if it’s from something he doesn’t ordinarily like doing.
It makes us smile when they walk on the outside, nearest to the traffic, or extend a hand in order to help us up a steep incline or worry that we're going to get kidnapped. Because, even if we can totally protect ourselves because we've religiously followed a strict routine of kickboxing and belly dancing, it's nice to feel taken care of.
When a man knows his way around the kitchen and is capable and confident, it’s so cute. I’m a sucker for the look on his face when he means business with those vegetables. Cooking takes patience and shows us that you’re cherish-worthy.
Especially that giant, fuzzy sweater with navy blue stripes that are lined with fleece and that goes down to our knees and that—what? Can't you find your sweater? Um…do don't look at me.
Women who are focused on their own mission and path in life are not taking time out of their day to look for validation from others. They are living in the moment and are too busy to bother caring what other people are thinking.
A man who is going to date this type of woman has to work with her on what is kept between the two of them and what is exposed to the public. In the social media generation, privacy is hard to come by – but for a relationship with a mature, independent woman to work in the long run, it still has to be made a priority.
Just because a woman may be in charge from 9-5 on Monday through Friday, doesn’t mean she wants the same responsibilities in a relationship. At the end of the day, many women still appreciate a man who is the man and will make plans for them on date night. A man who still romances her. A man who is chivalrous and respectful. A man who understands that a woman can be independent and should still be treated as a lady.
When he compliments how great you are at something, the right kind of man for a strong woman will never end the sentence with “you know, for a girl.” A man who can effectively build a relationship with an independent woman will see her exactly as she should be seen – as an equal.
This means respecting and valuing her opinions as well as openly telling her his own. It means being able to have deep, meaningful conversations and really listening to her viewpoints. It means never assuming she can’t teach you something new or show you new experiences – in fact, some of the life’s most important lessons will come from her.
Call it boring and predictable, but it's good to be with someone whose behavior is (at least most of the time) guided by logic and common sense rather than emotions. While it can be infuriating when he manages to maintain a completely calm demeanor in the face of your most melodramatic of meltdowns (don't you understand!?), it can also make you feel more secure.
In a world that values appearance over so many other traits, it's nice to know that men desire us even when we're wearing decidedly unsexy pajamas, haven't shaved our legs in a week and have an emerging sit in the center of our foreheads. After all, they're not so perfect themselves, and we still love them. When it comes down to it, we're not so different after all.
Being affectionate and sweet to us goes a long way. When you’re sweet to us — whether you put your arm around us when we’re not expecting it, hold our hand just because, or give us an excited kiss for no reason — our hearts skip a beat.
Am I the only woman who not so secretly thinks it’s really endearing when a man is curled up on his couch with his book? When he gets all geeked out and excited about something he’s reading and he’s not ashamed of it, it’s pretty adorable.
Their body wash. Their aftershave. Their (subtly-spritzed-on) cologne. Their natural, musky fragrance. All of it combines to create a perfume we can't help wanting to envelop ourselves in.
One of the most frequent comments I get from readers regarding chivalry in the modern era is that it can come across as being condescending or that men are suggesting women are incapable of doing the action at hand by themselves (ie., opening a door or pulling out a chair) by doing it for her.
Yep, we said it. Even the scrawny hipster-types have biceps that make us swoon. Their hands are almost always bigger than ours. No matter what size a guy is, he can always make us feel small and delicate. And what's with those beautiful, provocative veins guys have on their arms? And facial hair! Sure, it gets scratchy, but it looks so darn sexy.
How many times has your man done something he doesn’t want to because you asked him to? When a man does something for us that he wouldn’t ordinarily want to do, it makes our hearts melt. Being sweet and thoughtful always goes a long way. We so appreciate you doing something you’re not eager to do.
