Things Women Hope Men Will Never Find Out

#1 What period underwear is, and why we have it

Unless you’ve never learned a think about biology and the reproductive system, chances are you know that women get a certain visitor once a month. Now, guys are filled in on things like cramping and hormonal mood swings thanks to how it’s all portrayed in the media (which is a whole other issue), but there’s one thing that many guys don’t know about — period underwear. Ladies know exactly what that is the minute you mention it, and no, it’s not those weird panties that allow you to go totally feminine hygiene product free during that time of the month. No matter what a seasoned veteran you are, most women will get leaks at some point during their period, so after a while you learn never to wear your favourite glam, silky underwear during that time. You reach for one of the beat up old pairs in the back of your dresser, the ones you don’t care if you get a blood spot on.

#2 Her weight or size — just, why?

Look, we’re not saying that guys are totally immune to body image things — there are tons of men out there who wish they were a little more muscular, or wish they could look a little better in their clothes. However, it’s an entirely different world for women, who are basically bombarded with images of the ‘perfect body’ wherever they go. Even for the most body positive, confident woman, it can be a little bit overwhelming. That’s why we’d rather you just not know whether we’re a 2 or a 12. We don’t want you to know our weight because, well, there’s a lot of baggage attached with it. Even the most confident woman will feel a little pang if someone says ‘oh my god, that’s what you weight? My sister/friend/etc. is like 50 pounds lighter than that! You don’t look like you weigh that much!’ Ugh.

#3 She’ll never tell you exactly how many men she's slept with.

No matter how sincere she appeared when she answered your question, chances are she wasn’t.

As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she’s slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven.

Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn’t want to appear a floozy), but mostly it’s sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet.

Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.

#4 That they’ve cried over stupid movies/commercials/random things when PMSing

This is another one of those things that we hope men never find out about because, to be honest, it’s just annoying to explain it. No, we’re not soft or sappy because a particular commercial made us cry. We’re not crazy because you found us bawling over a spilled latte. We’ve got hormones surging through our body, we may be cramping, and we’re probably just having a bit of a rough day. We don’t want to talk about it, we don’t want to deal with your concerned or weirded out face, etc. Most guys get immediately weirded out around crying women, but when we can’t even explain why we’re crying, they get weirded out on a whole new level, so we’d rather just not deal with it. Let us cry over the toilet paper commercial with the puppies in peace.

#5 How much they can really eat

Listen, we’re not about to support the idea that women should only eat salads and things like that. Sometimes, we want to eat a cinnamon bun the size of our face, or splurge on a burger, and that’s totally fine — everything in moderation, after all. However, no matter how much a guy claims that he loves a girl who can eat, we kind of would rather a man not be around to see us when we mow down on an entire tray of brownies, or a full pizza. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s just something we’d prefer to do in the privacy of our own living room while we binge-watch Netflix and have a nice glass of wine to wash it down. It’s lady behaviour, and we don’t want you to know about it, plain and simple.

#6 That we often re-wear our bras for way longer than we probably should

This is something we never want men to find out about because, honestly, it’s kind of our secret shame. Sure, there may be certain women out there who lovingly hand-wash their delicate lingerie at the end of every day and lay it to air dry. However, for the average woman, more time passes than you want to admit between bra washing. They just don’t get dirty the same way that the rest of your clothes do, and it’s usually such a pain in the butt to have to hand wash them or stick them on the delicate cycle and then carefully lay them to dry. Sometimes it’s just more effort than we’re willing to expend after a long, hard day. That doesn’t mean we want you to know about it, though — we don’t even want to admit it to ourselves!

#7 The amount of time they spend getting ready

Girls never want a guy to know how long it takes them to get ready. Women have a much longer getting ready process then men do. Guys are lucky; they are able to shower, put a bit of gel in their hair and leave. However, when it comes to women getting ready there is a process. Each individual has their own routine but most of them go a little something like this: shower, moisturize, blow dry hair, straighten hair, makeup and then the hard part…choosing something to wear. If that is not enough, there is also, waxing of everything along with long hours at the hairdresser trying to get that perfect color. Even girls with the “au natural” look take maintenance, so men, don’t be fooled.

#8 They Put Deodorant Under Their Boobs

For most people, applying deodorant after a morning or night shower is a standard part of each day. Deodorant is a substance that’s applied to the body that suppresses or masks bodily odors. There are a variety of deodorants to choose from, so you won’t struggle trying to find one that works for you. But there are apparently other places to put deodorant other than your armpits.

One Redidt user wrote, “I put deodorant underneath my boobs sometimes. I hope I’m not the only one.”

A few other users chimed in to the woman’s comment, and it’s completely understandable. After all, it’s a fact that breast sweat increases as the temperatures rises. So these women are doing the right thing in order to prevent perspiration stains from soaking into their favorite dresses by spritzing the areas underneath their boobs with a spray deodorant. There’s no shame in putting deodorant under their racks.

#9 How Hairy They Are If They Don’t Shave

The origins of women shaving in the western world are a bit ludicrous because it seems like the whole thing arose due to an advert in Harper’s Bazaar in 1915. Basically, sleeveless dresses became a trend and an unknown company thought, ‘Hey, why don’t we make women feel ashamed of their natural bodies and encourage them to buy a hair removal product they don’t actually need, all so we can make a load of money?’

One Reddit user mentioned, “How hairy our buttholes are if we don’t shave. How hairy our whole bodies are, really.”

If you’ve been shaving your body hair for your own smooth pleasure, go ahead. But if you’ve been removing the stubble purely out of societal pressure, it might be time to give up. Just beware, some parts of your body will be hairy, which might be disgusting to some men. But there are men who like a woman with some body hair as opposed to having none at all.

#10 The Crotch In Black Panties Is White

Most women think of period underwear as those pairs of black panties that only see the light of day during one week of the month. But, they don’t always live up to the standard that you’ve initially thought about.

One user confessed, “I bought some black underwear once for that particular issue we get and when I opened the package, the little part that covers my vag was WHITE. I thought this was an affront to god and all womankind until I realized what happened to my black black underwear and another lady friend told me.”

Other users confirmed their pairs of black panties had stains in the crotch. Well, there’s a solution for this particular issue. Look for period underwear instead of the usual pair of standard panties. Most of them provide leak-proof protection. They aren’t ugly either. Also, they can offer you a peace of mind against leaks.

#11 They Have Chin Hair

While all women produce small amounts of the male hormones called androgens, some hair starts to grow on a woman’s chin when she has an excess amount of androgens. Also, changes in hormone production can cause unwanted chin hair on women. Luckily, this condition isn’t life-threatening. However, women with hormonal imbalances think the hair growth is embarrassing, and they look for ways to remove it. The cause of the increase in androgens is unknown.

A Reddit user recalled, “When I was 16, I would occasionally get a thick black hair growing out of her chin.”

What’s strange about this is that the user’s boyfriend used to grip those thick black hairs between his teeth and pull them out, which was a behavior similar to two apes grooming each other. Look, it’s uncomfortable to have some hair that appear thicker and darker for a variety of reasons, but there are better, safer ways in removing those hairs.

#12 Heels do hurt

It’s no secret that women love their shoes, heels especially. I’m sure many men have said to their ladies on countless occasions “wear comfortable shoes,” however for the sake of fashion, women strap on their highest pair of heals. What we hate to admit is that our expensive pumps kill us. Heels are painful but women don’t like to give in because of how much money we spend on them. We hate to admit that you men are right so we suck it up and pretend we are comfortable when in reality we are dying from the feet up!

#14 When you go away, even for a day, she sleeps in your favorite old T-shirt.

Because it smells like you.

#15 How much They have stalked you

Girls will never admit how much they have stalked your social media, and on how many occasions. If a girl really likes you, she will go through all your pictures on both Instagram and Facebook and she has read all your tweets. She has even gone as far as finding your ex and checking out the competition. Girls also won’t admit that they Google you, they want to make sure they know everything before making a commitment. Women also want to make sure they aren’t about to jump into bed with a convict! All this to say, women are stalkers and if any guy knew how much their girlfriend has stalked them they would probably run away.

#15 Her best friend knows everything.

She knows all of your vitals—from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings.

When her friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It’s not going to change.)

Chat with her about your relationship at your own risk. Your secrets are not safe with her. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love your girlfriend). But, in general, remember that she is your girlfriend's confidante first, and yours never.