This Unsightly Shark Scared Approximately No One When It Was Caught In Scotland
By
Muk Khatri in
Nature
On 7th October 2015
Shark Week is a nationwide celebration. Filmmakers set out with the goal of destroying reductive stereotypes about sharks by making programs that show off their most awesome qualities, like their intelligence and their insanely good looks. They're just cool-looking creatures, honestly.
This shark found off the coast of Scotland, however, does a pretty good job of not representing any of those qualities. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the most pathetic shark of all: the false catshark.
#1 This measly bag of life was caught by marine biologists near the Isle of Barra on Scotland's west coast
#2 The false catshark is usually found in deep waters, but I guess this one was tired of getting picked on by hammerheads.
We all have mean cousins who are way cooler than us, bud. It's okay.
#3 Quite possibly the ugliest shark in the world, the false catshark is also known for having a massive liver.
This is a painfully dweeby thing to brag about at parties.
#4 Watch this false catshark swim by one of his acquaintances, who is presumably playing dead so he doesn't have to "catch up" with him:
Basically, the false catshark is a deplorable lump of cells. I'm honestly kind of angry that the universe decided to let the false catshark live instead of the unicorn. I guess I do feel kind of bad for it, though. I mean, who wouldn't?
