#3
During our conversation, Laura managed to make every cabin crew who served us walk away laughing at her jokes.
When a flight attendant was clearing our plates, Laura cracked several jokes about her size. The flight attendant roared with laughter as she grabbed Laura's hand, "You really make my day!"
For the next few minutes, Laura listened attentively and gave pointers to the flight attendant's weight problem. The grateful attendant said before she rushed off, "I've got to work. I'll come back later and talk to you about it."
I asked Laura, "‘Have you ever thought about losing some weight?"
"No. I've worked hard to get this way. Why would I want to give it up?"
"You aren't worried about cardiovascular diseases that come with being overweight?"
"Not at all. You only get the diseases if you're worried about your weight all the time. You see advertisements from slimming centres that say, `Liberate yourself from your extra baggage so that you are free to be yourself.' It's rubbish! You're liberated only if you're comfortable about who you are, and what you look like any time of the day and anytime of the year! Why would I want to waste my time on slimming regimes when I have so many other important things to do and so many people to be friends with? I eat healthily and walk regularly; I'm this size because I am born to be big! There is more to life than worrying about weight all day long."
She sipped at her wine. "Besides, God gives me so much happiness that I need a bigger body to hold all of it! Why would I lose weight to lose my happiness?" Taken aback by her reasoning, I chuckled.
Laura continued. "Folks often see me as a fat lady with big bosoms, big thighs and a big bottom that no man would even bother to cast a glance at. They see me as a slob. They think I'm lazy and have no willpower. They're wrong." She held up her glass to a passing flight attendant. "More of this magnificent wine, please." She smiled sweetly at the attendant. "Great service from your crew. May God bless all of you."
She turned to me, "I'm actually a slim person inside. I'm so full of energy that people won't be able to keep up with me. This extra flesh is here to slow me down, otherwise I'll be running everywhere chasing after men!"
"Do men chase after you?" I asked jokingly.
"Of course they do. I'm happily married but men still keep proposing to me.
"Most of them have relationship problems and they need someone to confide in. For some reason, they like to talk to me. I think I should have been a counsellor instead of a school teacher!"
Laura paused before she said thoughtfully, "You know, the relationship between men and women is so complicated. Women worship men and call them, `Honey' until they find out they have been lied to, and then they turn into bitter gourds! Men love women so much that they see them as their soul mates until they look at their credit card bills, and then women become devils with tridents!"