Woman Comes Out As Gay Six Years Into Marriage But Remains With Soulmate Husband

Nicolette Popa, 26, came out to husband Ryan in the summer of 2020, but rather than end up in a bitter divorce, the couple decided to stay together and co-parent their two children.

Ryan, a 27-year-old civil servant, said he was 'not surprised' by the news, while Nicolette said that they are still closest friends and one other's 'greatest supports.'

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Nicolette, from Wilmington, North Carolina, said: "We're still married and we still live together in our house with our kids. 

"For right now, what we do works. We're trying to figure out our careers and trying to make sure that our kids have the best outcome. 

"We're prioritising family life over the dating side of things."

She continued: "We got married when I was 19 and he was 20. We've been together basically through all of our 20s, and he's that person I've been around constantly. 

"I feel like he'll always be my soulmate, just from a different perspective. 

"We know how to get under each other's skin, but we also know how to be each other's biggest supporters."

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Nicolette had known she was a lesbian since she was a child, but she was always afraid of coming out because she was reared in a conservative Missouri town.

She said: "My family are definitely conservative, we're from the midwest so it's very 'country' out there. 

"It wasn't really a thing to be gay when I was growing up. Deep down I thought about it, but I was terrified. 

"But as I got older, it just felt like I had this weight on my chest. I knew that there was something that I needed to figure out.” 

Recalling their conversation when she told Ryan, Nicolette said: "I talked to Ryan about it and said, 'listen, I just kind of feel this way about myself and I don't know if that's weird, and how you'll feel about it'. 

"He was basically like, 'OK that's cool, women are great'. 

"This was six years into our marriage. When I came out, it was just to him for a while, because I wasn't sure how we wanted to navigate it." 

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Nicolette began informing close acquaintances after coming out to Ryan, but only informed her immediate family last June.

Ryan has always been supportive of Nicolette, stating that he spotted clues that she was gay before she informed him, and that his own family is also very 'supporting.'

He said: "It wasn't a shock when Nicolette came out. I started to have suspicions but I wasn't going to ask, I was going to wait for her to tell me herself. 

"She really emphasized being a tomboy, the way she was dressing, she was embracing it more."