Woman Faces Backlash From Family After Telling Husband She Can't Be His Carer At Home While Doing Full-Time Job

Family problems can be the most sensitive issues to deal with. When dealing with these issues it becomes very difficult for a person to understand that where to draw a line especially when it comes to bearing the responsibilities? 

One Redditor u/Throw---356709 decided to share a similar family problem on Am I the Asshole? to ask if she refuses to be her husband's full time carer while doing a tough job is she wrong?

She wrote:  "Hear me out I'm already dealing with issues because of this. My F33 husband M30 was injured in an accident at his uncle's farm because he and his cousin were doing pranks that ended up causing problems. He couldn't move on his own and is using crutches. I'm a pediatrician and work is too much while having to take care of my husband."

She further added: "I tried to spend more time at home with him but his requests never end. He keeps asking me to do simple things for him that I'm sure he's capable of doing like getting him juice, bringing him his pack of smokes, making sandwiches, doing his laundry,charging his phone etc. I told him I only help with stuff like bathing/feeding etc but I was getting overwhelmed and it affected my work. I asked if I could get a family member to help out while I'm working. He didn't take it well. I suggested a paid carer that I pay for but he said that there was no need for a carer."

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OP shared that when she pointed out to her husband that she will get a carer for him and she will pay for him too, he got upset and claimed that she is hurting his feelings.

"He kept asking me to do things for him even called when I was working. He had me leave my shift to come home so he could ask me to make him lasagna. I lost it I told him I will no longer be handling his care and will be getting a paid carer but he got upset saying I don't care about his health to hire a carer and claimed I loved my work more than him. He argued that he'd do a lot more for me if I was injured. He insisted I was hurting his feeling by getting a carer."

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To add to the problems, her mother-in-law also reminded her what it means to be a good wife to her husband.

"The argument continued. His mom was mad telling me for the love of God to just stop treating my husband like a kid by getting him a carer which is another word for a 'babysitter'. Went on about what a wonderful mother I will be in the future since babysitters are going to raise my kids for me. We argued back and forth. I told her my husband was relying on me on things he could still do despite his injury but she demanded I step up as a wife and take care of him til he gets back on his feet since he has always took care of home while I was...working (like work is a bad thing). And said that if the others heard about me getting a paid carer. They will berate me and call me a bad wife so she just warned me because she cares about me."

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Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You’re The A**hole
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH – No A**holes Here

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People told OP that she is not wrong for asking her husband to start doing his basic tasks and suggesting to get a carer for him considering the fact that she must be so exhausted running around doing everything on her own.