Three Mile Island Meltdown (inspired by Adam Bomb)
Mascot: Li'l Isotope
Ballpark nickname: "The Power Plant"
No sight in sports is more beautiful than when an umpire yells "Let's play two!" and the green glow of the sunset blankets Three Mile Island Meltdown's "Power Plant." The Meltdown were an expansion franchise in the early '90s, during baseball's fabled "New Generation" of teams, but with so many future All-Stars passing through, clearly there's something in the water.
Harlem Sewer Rats (inspired by Bad News Brown)
Mascot: Bitey
Ballpark nickname: "The Cesspool"
From across 110th Street in New York City, the Harlem Sewer Rats have been blasting homers off every beer-bellied sharecropper and spineless cockroach pitcher who dares to step onto their field. They may not always play by the rules, but there's not an umpire around that's brave enough to tell them what to do.
Aberdeen Flying Goats (inspired by Daniel Bryan)
Mascot: Billy the Bearded Goat
Stadium: "The Farm"
There's nothing better than a summer night at the ballpark with your buddies, grabbing a couple vegan hot dogs and slurping down locally sourced organic carrot juice. If you like watching gritty, technically sound small-ball against the scenic backdrop of the Pacific Northwest, the Flying Goats are your team!
Cincinnati Lunatics (inspired by Dean Ambrose)
Mascot: The Cincinnati Thumbtack
Ballpark nickname: "The Asylum"
Baseball in Cincinnati dates back to the 1800s, but the Cincinnati Lunatics aren't your great-great-great granddad's team. You'll never see the Asylum faithful, dubbed the "Loonies," without their signature foam barbed wire bats, especially during the annual straitjacket giveaway a fun night for all ages.
Dudleyville Tables (inspired by The Dudley Boyz)
Mascot: Splinter
Ballpark nickname: "The Lumber Yard"
The Dudleyville Tables win everywhere they go. They've clinched pennants in Philadelphia, Atlanta and New York. When the Tables roll into town for a four-game set, the only Pythagorean expectation is that a team sporting some tie-dyed uniforms will leave the home squad feeling broken.
Atlantic City Avalanche (inspired by King Kong Bundy)
Mascot: Snowflake the Yeti
Ballpark nickname: "The Condominium"
Recently purchased by The Million Dollar Corporation, the Atlantic City Avalanche have been signing every big-money free agent of late. No team outside the majors has been this stacked since Mr. Burns successfully lured Darryl Strawberry and Ken Griffey to Springfield in the early '90s.
St. Louis Vipers (inspired by Randy Orton)
Mascot: Fangs
Ballpark nickname: "The Pit"
The St. Louis Vipers are known for having the best concessions west of the Mississippi. That reputation is thanks in large part to the iconic Viper Dog, a foot-long frank covered in guacamole and whatever else the chef has handy. Whenever you head into "The Pit," you sure won't leave it hungry
Pensacola Big Dogs (inspired by Roman Reigns)
Mascots: Howl and Bonez
Ballpark nickname: "The Dog Bowl"
Baseball adheres to two principles: Vin Scully is a national treasure and chicks dig the long ball. Quite simply, the Pensacola Big Dogs' recent success doesn't come from practicing Tom Emanski defensive drills even if Fred McGriff endorses them it's from socking a few dingers.
Death Valley Deadmen (inspired by The Undertaker)
Mascot: Rotty the Zombie
Stadium: "The Funeral Parlor"
Don't expect any rain delays at a Death Valley Deadmen game. Storm clouds seem to have permanently parked over "The Funeral Parlor," unleashing thunder and lightning for all nine innings. And try not to be unnerved by the crowd that sits in dead silence, staring blankly at the field, except for when they chow down on the park's trademark dish, a chewy meat they call "Brains." It is a nickname, right?
Rocky Mountain Mastodons (inspired by Vader)
Mascot: Leon the Mastodon
Stadium nickname: "The White Castle of Fear"
A remote ballpark in the snowy peaks of the Rocky Mountains, "The White Castle of Fear" is home to one of the hardest-hitting teams in all of baseball. The high altitude makes for a homerun-filled game, and the surly crowd ensures any visiting team doesn't leave without a few bruises.
